Yeah I have whole mental tools in the toolbox for getting unstuck.

Yeah I have whole mental tools in the toolbox for getting unstuck. I’m kinda lucky and cursed at the same time… as I’m constantly stuck in “create” mode. I’m doing it now: Every word is a creative engagement – and ties into a larger project I have of “collecting my thoughts”. I take what I write, stick it into an online site, think about the person I’m writing to, how my words might affect them (utilizing empathy) or might not, and constantly search for inspiration for future projects, whatever they may be.

I suspect I lean more towards ‘manic’ than depressive, but I’m always aware that it’s there somewhere.

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and also amused that on a Vine I made earlier, a 8/9 yr old kid who is *also* named Daniel, wrote, “That’s me!!! XD” to my little clip I took of “The most interesting man in the world” new commercial earlier today – and somehow hoped that him seeing my clip gave him a little self-esteem boost that he can carry with him at other times, not knowing from where… so yeah, my gears are usually running full speed. It’s a blessing and a curse … well, it’s neither a blessing nor a curse… I just interact well with people-on-computers as it gives me the ability to do a lot at the same time. I’m probably ADD tongue emoticon
https://vine.co/v/iHFPeTmvaha

 

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Oh that’s awesome Daniel: I’m still on that task of connecting thoughts together. I don’t expect to ever finish, but rather keep working on improving my capabilities at any given “present moment”. I’m not capable of everything but whatever I’m capable of and enjoy, I like to engage it as much as possible when I can in a positive way. It’s silly in a way I suppose, but I try to imagine “What if I was this persons’s final hope and I don’t even know it?” – ’cause you never know the depths of someone’s internal fight and we all get good at hiding it….. and so I try to find ‘something’ that can maybe reach there *just in case* it’s needed. I’ll never be perfect at it, but I enjoy the challenge of betterment and I believe fully that every person is capable of self-actualization to whatever degree they’re capable of at any given moment, given an outlook that is compatible with them where they can see/think/feel more clearly.

But I dunno – might be the coffee talking tongue emoticon

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I’m glad you got through the terrible couple of years and found a solution that has been effective. Not everybody does that, but the fact that you have, speaks volumes to me.

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Oh! The http://icopiedyou.com site is a website I created for me to “collect my thoughts” with. I wanted a “google of my brain” I could turn to. Instead of trying to be organized about it, which is what I kept trying to do for YEARS AND YEARS and failing to come up with a dependable organized system……I instead decided to just organize things by date/time with a universal search.That’s it. It was so simple I don’t know why it took me so long to figure that out.I want to add things like automatic keywords and stuff and tried some experiments in that regard, but nothing has been satisfying yet.But simply to collect them all: considering EVERYTHING I write a potential source for future inspiration, I just collect it.I copy/paste, title it, and then send.

No idea if I’ll do more with it: but at least the data is collected _somewhere_.

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 Oh procrastination is a wonderful tool! I’m a natural procrastinator.One of the great things about being a procrastinator is: You have the MAXIMUM time to consider ALL possibilities BEFORE acting.You don’t jump to conclusions. You’re not hasty. When you DO act, it’s usually the right action because you’ve waited long enough for your brain to consolidate, consciously or unconsciously, as much information as it could get before acting.I think procrastinators have the advantage: we get more done in less time and WHILE we’re procrastinating, we accomplish EVERYTHING THAT ISN’T, the task we’re supposed to do, allowing us to get more things done overall smile emoticon

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 I had a period of loud thoughts in my early 20s. It sucked. I felt like I was running to get away from them. I accept them now, and try to sort them out. All those voices are me and also not me. I try to figure out “Ok, that one was weird: where did *it* come from?” – and sometimes I can trace it back to something a 3rd grade art teacher said, or some mean girls, or a boss at a job that was unpleasant… that sort of thing.Sometimes the thought came from a movie.So, that’s been helpful.

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  Oh the body: yeah. I used to walk around with my shoulders up in the air when I was tense. I didn’t notice it. One day, I did.I started saying the word, “release” to myself. I imagined a cord being cut from the sky that was holding my shoulders up.

They let go.

Then, they’d rise up again, and I’d do it again.

I started doing it … gosh, ,20 years ago now, and I *still* have to remind myself to let my shoulders go down naturally again sometimes. But it helps a lot.

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 I understand – and I’m glad you’ve found tools to use that have helped you through this process. Life’s process. Nobody warned us that it would be tricky and yet, it is.

I still unravel unhealed bits as I introspectively assess myself. Some are gaping wounds that I _know_ are there, but don’t have all of the tools to heal yet, so I just keep the wound clean and dry but don’t have the medicine yet for. I try to prevent infection from those.

There’s likely others I’m not yet aware of but since I’m not aware of them, I don’t know if they’re there or not.

Yet oddly, I enjoy the process. When something gets me upset, I’m surprised at myself now. I start asking questions: “What within me triggered that response?” I try to find the source. Whether or not I _can_ find the source, I try to find ways to prevent being triggered in the future.

I start the assessment right away: as soon to the event as I can. I try to avoid getting “caught up in the emotion of the moment”. I can easily get “swept away” by my own emotional state as well as the emotional states of others. I even avoid documentaries because they usually present an emotional state (usually negative ones) and I really don’t like going there because I’m less functional when I am… and I’ve lost some sense of self-control when I do.

But I enjoy the process. Constant learning, reassessing, practice, production.

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