I couldn’t go back. Ppl go up north to visit friends. Ask me why I don’t. I got no reason. Broke my friendships gently (this is years before facebook and online was still for nerds-only like me) – and off I went.
I was on Lorazpam on occasion and daily meditation/prayer – like, throughout the entire day. Linked it up to my every breath just to cope with the stress. It helps a lot. But getting away from people is better.
I was into Eastern Orthodoxy at the time so it was the Jesus Prayer. In breath: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God” and out breath, “Have mercy on me, a sinner”. Perfectly timed to 6 seconds each way.
It went with the tradition and I used it. I could’ve used anything linked up to the breath and it would’ve worked but I was in convertitis mode and REALLY used every bit of the mystical stuff that could help.
Now I’d probably pick a different phrase but use the same technique. Works good. 6 second inhale, 6 second exhale, stick some words to it that are easy to remember.