witty answers to witty questions [answers to paradoxes by kenneth udut]

* What do people in China call their good plates?
non-tectonic.

* What do you call a male ladybug?
Bro.

* When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Talking dogs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SCEmSHqMnw

* When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it?
They gathered all the peoples of the planet Earth together in one spot. The population was quite small back then and they gathered in the plains of Africa. In PIE they all said in unison:
trejes
dwou
oinos

and stomped on the ground in unison.

This caused a break in the spacetime continuum, causing the setting of the first atomic clock based on the cesium atom which was likewise based on sun/moon and planetary guidelines from some point in the 1950s, and the information travelled through a quantum tunnel to that very moment, the first and last time everybody made a stomp on the earth at the same time, calibrating the initial clock, which is why all Earth calendars and clocks have always been synchronized from that point forward.

* If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
You would eat yourself. The inversion would take place at the moment of contact and you would disappear in a puff of salami.

* Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
No. It’s from the Campbell’s soup company. Part of their marketing campaign. Two large Campbell’s soup cans reside at the Cambell’s HQ which are recovered alien artifacts allowing them to go back to ancient Babylon, introducing the order of things properly. Unfortunately, the message was scrambled and the random order that arose is the alphabet we know and love today.

* If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!

-ku’s answers

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