It’s a curious question:
“What’s a popular person?”
Who makes the decision?
Do we each decide we’re popular?
Or is there a group of people who decide, “You are popular”
Or do we each look at someone else and say, “You are popular.”
I’ve had ppl say I was popular. It always surprised me because that’s not how I see myself. I never thought of having a lot of friends as popular. It just means having a lot of friends. Popular is something different than that numbers I think. But… what is it?
I never could figure out the nature of what “popular” is… just that there was always someone who felt the need to take a moment out of their day to make me feel “unpopular”.
Maybe making someone feel unpopular makes someone popular?
Maybe there is a percentage: If 51% of people say you’re popular, that makes you popular?
For a long time now, people take the time to try to make me feel “popular”. I like the feeling but I still don’t think of it is popular, just that I have nice people around me. Are they kissing my butt because they think I’m popular?
I dunno. I’m 43 and never figured out the system. I could never read “intent” from people. There’s probably a rulebook I was supposed to read in 4th grade that I missed out on. It’s just a concept I never really “got”.
While I couldn’t point to anybody and say, “This person is popular” and “This person is unpopular” [because they’re just people to me], I suppose if someone felt excluded by being labeled “Popular” and then discarded… then the Unpopular becomes the Popular, roles reverse, and the Oppressed become the Oppressor, all the while declaring they’re still being oppressed.
So I’m glad you made the correction. Maybe the distinction could be different? Instead of Popular, you could describe some of the negative characteristics of the Popular stereotype that you feel need calling out, without grouping people together as the unwanted/undesirable Popular.
After all, there’s not too many behaviors that any of us aren’t capable of doing, no matter what label is attached to us. And we can all use a helping hand in removing some of the parts of ourselves that are undesirable…. or at the very least, it’s good to have a self-reflective moment to consider, “does this apply to me? If so, is it something I should fix or am I ok the way I am?”
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