P.G.
Thanks for the add I liked what you said about knowing ‘you’. And wanting a definition of yourself that any critic could accept. (think I got that right?)
Well, there’s a quote I like from Sun Tzu that always struck a cord with me..
“Live with a man 40 years, share his house, his meals, speak on every subject. Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano’s edge, and on that day, you will finally meet the man.”
It seems to me that until one finds themselves in a helpless, deadly situation they’ll never truly know themselves.
KU
I decided a few years ago: “What if I wasn’t here?” And so began a process of being dead, forgotten, neglected, but willfully so. I still interacted with people, but more and more focused on positive ppl and not negative… but all the while imagining myself a “voice from the past”. One day I realized: I’m the – . Born 1972 – Died: ???? And those numbers didn’t matter. The – matters. So… always on the precipice of death yet not yet. And it’s the not yet that makes life absolutely amazing.
What if this is our last communication? My last words? I should make them count. It changes how I interact with people completely. Hard to do in person but as I like working with writing, easy online.
Indeed and well said. I’ve been dismantling my own hypocrasies as well. Some are my own fault. Some are not. But fault doesn’t matter. I strive to be earnest and honest. Truthful can be a tricky thing, as truth for one is a falsehood to another, but if I can come at somebody with all my heart, with good intentions, and strive to leave that person I interacted with with an impression of, “Wow, I’m glad I met him!” – even if they forget me later.. I’ll know that _something_ I said had an impact. That impact creates unknown-to-me thought processes in another mind that I may never know, and potentially influence the future decisions and though patterns in ways I couldn’t possibly imagine. So… I try to have impact, earnstly and transparently as possible. Accuracy to the best of my knowledge is also up there in the top 5. I don’t want someone to walk away with bad ideas from me.
One of the hardest thing I keep tripping over [as I also believe in my own uniqueness] is when I find areas that I’m _not_ unique… or negative stereotypical viewpoints that _do_ have *some* validity, if not entirely. Trying to see yourself from other people’s perspectives accurately is hard and painful to do. It’s led to some of my greatest growths and reduced some of my know-it-all arrogance. Let’s say your life was written out in a book. Let’s say the author didn’t like you very much. But… they were your only biographer. And.. you’re dead. How might they write you up in a way that is wrong from your perspective, but *could be considered* accurate enough from an outsider’s point of view? Very painful to go through that process. But it’s led to me being forgiving of others who see me in a negative light because, while they may be wrong from my perspective, or the perspective of people that like me… they *might* have a point or even saying the same thing as I say about myself.. just in negative terms.
do my best. I have had to learn to embrace hyperbole (exageration) which is a form of lying as a necessary part of effective communication though. Sometimes it bothers me because being entirely accurate and entirely honest (not leaving things out for example) is more and more difficult the more stuff you know… and part of communication is tailoring the message for the audience; it’s not a one-way street. But in tailoring, sometimes truths get cut out. I just try to minimize the damages and it’s painful when they’re there…. and they’re always there because no matter how much I type, it’s never ‘complete’… just… somewhat close.
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