Well-meaning people can cause damage and you cannot deny that they’re not out there because they are.

I was pointing out excess in an exaggerated fashion.

When I was 19-21ish in the early 90s, I volunteered full time a cerebral palsy center. In the center were kids from 2.5 through 21. I learned later that it was and is the ONLY full time full school for young people with several physical and mental difficulties in New Jersey.

Time of my life. I felt right at home.

In the center were children with autism, downs, cerebral palsy, kids who suffered several physical, mental or sexual abuse.

One of the tasks I set myself to do was to help set up the computers with alternative input devices, always finding new ways for the kids to be able to communicate their needs, desires, wishes and thoughts with the outside world.

This was also meaningful to me because I went to that center when I was 2.5-4.5 years old as I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy as an infant.

I’m not assuming that “everybody else is doing it wrong” James but some do. Well-meaning people can cause damage and you cannot deny that they’re not out there because they are.

I’m not saying “all are”, even if the meme implies that.

Point is, I wasn’t talking about you  and if you thought I was, I wasn’t. I was sharing my perspective and welcome others to share theirs, even if they’re sharing their perspectives about me.

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Pity is useful for gathering donations and it serves a useful purpose in that way.

But at the same time, if you’re working directly with people, pity is one of the worst things you can offer someone.

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Same. Example: I’m terrible at telling stories in person. Too much detail and background, no punch line. I know this about myself and work on it, to various degrees of failure and success.

A backhanded complement I’ve gotten in the past has been when I was in a group and started talking.

If it’s not an understanding group, someone would say, “What’s he TALKING about?” and someone would come to my defense in a strange way and say,

“Oh, just let him finish. That’s just Ken. He’ll get tired of talking soon.”.

Oddly enough, I was ok with that.

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Yeah, that bluntness is an aspie trait that I don’t seem to share, which always made me question your aspie diagnosis about me. [meaning: your diagnostis of me as being an aspie too]

yet perhaps I just cover it up in flowery words / turn it into a passive-aggressive statement? i dunno.

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It’s true what you’ve said. [that is, I can relate – perhaps more to your NJ self than to your unveiled self].

I have to be conscious about people’s agendas (gives me a headache but people seem to LOVE their agendas] and try to keep them in mind.

But then, I find it refreshing to deal with someone who is agendaless. Whether it is blunt agendalessness or flowery agendalessness, I enjoy them both.

But I have no respect for agenda-filled bluntness. They get my hammer and I am blunt freely with them.

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Treating people as individuals definitely seems to be key. In this makes a point that’s correct and where I was in error in sharing this meme the way I did:

It implies that I consider this group of people called “neurotypicals” as having the same outlook and viewpoint and that it’s all in the way I portray it and always wrong in every way, rather than treating them as individuals, an affordance I seem to give solely to those *not* in the neurotypical class assigned.

I didn’t imply these things and yet, it can seem that I did and from James’ perspective, I certainly did.

So, I was in error in sharing this meme without explaining why properly. It won’t stop me in the future of course.

—-

Having attempted to “speak for James” here though, I expect to be rebuked and he’s right to do so if he chooses.

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oh! how clueless of me. ugh. Wow, societal change: yeah, jeez, I’d love to see that.

Man, to make that happen would require ENTIRELY overturning the systems-as-they-are.

Schools would need an upheaval to allow for differences… psychiatry would totally need their tables turned… parents would need some severe strong change in their educations – not just parents of children who are autistic but also parents of those who are not. …

… I almost can’t imagine that as being possible tbh.

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Quite true. Social upheaval though… so much would be required to make it happen. Ignorance-is-bliss is in vogue these days though… maybe it always was… so how to make change is certainly an uphill climb.

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