Well, like you said, you don’t know. Is it nice? Or is it “too nice”?
“What’s the catch?” “What you selling me here?” It’s not the same but a little related to figuring out the differences between an honest seller and a con. There’s more honest sellers than cons out there but there’s always the danger of sale being a con.
Yet in some professions being a con is a part of the job and expected, like politicians. Politicians are cons because their job and environment they work in encourage it. But a con is also public relations. Public relations is sales. Maybe they’re selling honestly. Sometimes they are.
Why do we go inside when there’s a bad lightening storm? The chance of getting hit is so slim after all. One in a million chance they say. But, as moms around the world say, “Yes, but you don’t want to be that one”.
Skeptical is good and wise. Too skeptical can be bad and can cause systemic problems when amplified by media. Yet, too skeptical can also prevent problems so that they never happen. But it can be at the expense of many good people who suffer because of the fault of a few.
Then there’s systemic power differences. So, it’s difficult territory.
I’ve never been a young girl so I don’t know what that’s like. I did learn to mistrust certain power figures early on though or rather to be “wary of intention and outcome” I guess you could say.
Look at me. I’m a 45 year old man. I could be a pervert. You have no way of knowing. Thankfully I’m not, but you might not know that.. I could be lying. How can you know for sure? I guess that’s one of those things where you start with assumptions and refine or discard from there. Of course I could be grooming – the “long con game”.
Maybe you can never know for sure. Wish I knew an easy “10 steps to know if this person can be trusted” site.
Having these social possibilities stuck to me because of things out of my control (I didn’t choose to be male. I didn’t choose to age. I didn’t choose this society.) is just how it is and I understand that. Best I can do is show the negative assumptions are wrong for me by my actions and words. But I don’t blame anybody for any skepticism they hold. It’s not their fault. These are systemic issues.