Hard to set up scene as this was a dream and personal notes which leave out details. But I’ll try. I do this in my head while I try to remember a dream and write it down.
a) Name is as it appeared in the dream.
b) That night, 1 5 yr old n e phew showed me a funny meme video showing someone who was an American femboy – typical computer programmer guy who grew hair long, wears thigh high leggings, makeup and ‘cute clothes’ while coding that night so it was in my head, ‘warning’ people not to become programmers or else that’ll happen to them.
c) While I don’t go to church, my mother’s pastor bumped into me a day before and remembered me even thought it was years (that’s a big part of their job really).
d) I volunteered full time at a cerebral palsy center when I was 21-22 yrs old so the building has special memories.
e) About two years ago I started getting a few friend requests from people from Ukraine on Instagram and as an experiment, I’d just accept every one to see how their AI would show me next. Now Eastern European and Russians form a big part of my Instagram followers and it’s a nice break from American-English-everything Facebook.
Why I thought explaining that prior would help understand what I wrote early this morning, I don’t know. But that’s how I tie dreams together after I wake up by figuring out where they come from so I might as well share that too.
Now for my dream as I wrote it this morning half asleep:
Utna or Udna Udell
Female gender me.
Also born a girl.
In a dream she showed up as I was talking to Pastor Roy sitting outside of a church building that was locked that looked like the cerebral palsy center. we sat on the sidewalk (by where we took cigarette breaks in real life).
Talking for a while and she shows up and I immediately knew her. We’d met before when she came by from Ukraine where she’d been raised as a girl and she uses to explain her social awkwardness and quirkiness in the USA but it’s really just being Ken.
Freer to talk than me. She’s either married with kids or has a boyfriend without kids or with, not sure, but she may be vague.
No one mentioned our biological relationship but we all knew that it wasn’t something to say aloud even among each other. Pastor Roy had been there the first time we’d met too.
At one point she’s talking and i put my hand on hers as her hand is on the ground.
She keeps talking and puts her other hand on top of mine and there was no question we were instantly comfortable with each other.
She switch to talking about “isn’t it funny how people suddenly think you’re “cute” after watching certain movies together”?
And images of how she kept her husband / boyfriend from being abusive and from seeing the real her by the brainwashing effect of movies.
He’s start angry and then be in love with her and a little giddy at the end.
(Shared fantasies such as believing you know someone’s moves or intentions, conspiracy theories and documentaries, also fit as substitute for movies)
For the briefest of moments dream me wondered if she was referring to us as we continued to hold hands in a sandwich fashion layered on the ground. Like layers of perspective grid images of a room at different angles views in a paint program with transparency, all equally alpha together .
But no she was honest and the doubt flashed by quicker than it came.
Soon it was time to go. Our hands slipped apart with no problem mutually as it felt like the right time.
She parted and pastor Roy and I went to the other door to Go in. He unlocked the door and asked if I had any emergency food.
I looked at my old business card which had some odd emergency food items in it including an iPower drink which I hadn’t seen in years.
(I went to bed worried about my phone not having enough charge for this morning)
Came out as bi in high school in the late 80s to shush “WHERE’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND” stuff. It scared some, impressed others and wasn’t wrong. My brief stint in college (1990/1991) I learned the term “pan sexual” and “omni sexual” so I started using those terms. I was friends with “Elfkind” and “otherkin” on the early internet and at college.
Years passed. Much more expressiveness available now 30 years later and I’m so glad. Otherkin (dragons, wolves, etc) evolved into furry culture, and while there was a little gender pronoun stuff then, simply writing he/she was still revolutionary – and I think ze and them just started — now there’s better options available.
For myself? I met a female gendered me in a dream just last night for the first time and wrote it down. I described it in a group and I’ll copy/paste it as a reply to this already long-winded writing.
Oh you can ask or interpret in any way you like. I presented it in as much detail as I could so to help if needed.
It’s the only time I remember dreaming this. It was a long lost sister ‘publicly’ in the dream but as I have been interpreting dreams “while I’m dreaming” for a lot of years, I could detach while participating and figure out “Oh, she’s female me – not my sister – cool” – and that knowledge got incorporated into the dream.
I did have enough charge. I’ve tended towards caretaker roles through the years but I also have built things and did weightlifting, etc so that masculine/feminine line thing was always not that big of a deal to me.