Utna or Udna Udell
Female gender me.
Also born a girl.
In a dream she showed up as I was talking to Pastor Roy sitting outside of a church building that was locked that looked like the cerebral palsy center. we sat on the sidewalk (by where we took cigarette breaks in real life).
Talking for a while and she shows up and I immediately knew her. We’d met before when she came by from Ukraine where she’d been raised as a girl and she uses to explain her social awkwardness and quirkiness in the USA but it’s really just being Ken.
Freer to talk than me. She’s either married with kids or has a boyfriend without kids or with, not sure, but she may be vague.
No one mentioned our biological relationship but we all knew that it wasn’t something to say aloud even among each other. Pastor Roy had been there the first time we’d met too.
At one point she’s talking and i put my hand on hers as her hand is on the ground.
She keeps talking and puts her other hand on top of mine and there was no question we were instantly comfortable with each other.
She switch to talking about “isn’t it funny how people suddenly think you’re “cute” after watching certain movies together”?
And images of how she kept her husband / boyfriend from being abusive and from seeing the real her by the brainwashing effect of movies.
He’s start angry and then be in love with her and a little giddy at the end.
(Shared fantasies such as believing you know someone’s moves or intentions, conspiracy theories and documentaries, also fit as substitute for movies)
For the briefest of moments dream me wondered if she was referring to us as we continued to hold hands in a sandwich fashion layered on the ground. Like layers of perspective grid images of a room at different angles views in a paint program with transparency, all equally alpha together .
But no she was honest and the doubt flashed by quicker than it came.
Soon it was time to go. Our hands slipped apart with no problem mutually as it felt like the right time.
She parted and pastor Roy and I went to the other door to Go in. He unlocked the door and asked if I had any emergency food.
I looked at my old business card which had some odd emergency food items in it including an iPower drink which I hadn’t seen in years.
(I went to bed worried about my phone not having enough charge for this morning)