^Understanding negative personalities by Kenneth Udut
(thanks to Heather-Lee Mainville Mabry for making a post that got me to think and somehow *this* came out of me. Hope it helps someone out there -Ken)
The biggest challenge with encounters with the negative and hateful is coming to a place of mutual understanding. You have to wade through so much acid and spit and let it all slide by as best you can, while trying to get them – and you – to a place where you can say "I understand you" – and they believe it, because you *do* understand them.
My best guess is that _fight_, is all they feel they have. A lot of people define themselves by *who they're _not_* rather than by who they *are*… and once the hate, bitterness and anger and fight is gone… and they are at peace.. it's been so long for them, trapped in the behavior of a caged and cornered animal… that freedom is a foreign concept to them.
Consider long term prisoners or soldiers: They live in structured environments. They leave the structure, and often don't know what to do with themselves. They're lost in all this freedom; a case of sudden agoraphobia; no walls to follow to guide them along… no pressure that they must respond to. And, like a case of tinninitus; the silence is deafening.
And so they sometimes commit crimes to get back into the system; prisoners to get back to a familar place; and even ex-military sometimes follow a similar route.
Hate and Anger provides a structure to life. At the slightest sense of "THIS IS NOT ME", the fight begins; the pushing away, the drawing in, the tearing a part of "The different Than Me" that they encounter.
But they are lost without that structure that they know so well… the devil you know is better than the devil you don't, as it were.^