Uh huh huh lol I project manage – me Pennywise Professional Big Pharma Man. Me smart and skills extra have I (not) – so pro so good so smart so relevant so tru so amazing wow much think so poop of male cow creature

Uh huh huh lol I project manage – me Pennywise Professional Big Pharma Man. Me smart and skills extra have I (not) – so pro so good so smart so relevant so tru so amazing wow much think so poop of male cow creature

 

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It goes right alongside belief in the corporate org chart as the “way things get done”.

Org charts look pretty but have almost no reflection on reality.

Information gets filtered up the hierarchy until by the time it reaches people in power, anything useful is stripped away, mickey moused and each level does whatever they can to make their own department look stellar, which is why CEOs usually look REALLY stupid to the employees of said company because they have NO idea what really goes on by the time it gets to them.

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That’s true for supervisors but higher middle management often comes from the outside. Their management skills look good on resumes but their procedures can be determined by a look at their bookshelf.

“How to manage people” books are super popular for that reason: it’s usually the only training managers ever really get. If they have an MBA, at least that’s _something_ but it focuses on how to calculate ROI properly (current minus previous divided by previous) and use office products properly for the most part, along with basic accounting.

Even more disappointing is how school teachers are trained. Classroom management skills? As far as I saw (I was going to be a school teacher), there were NO courses on that stuff in the entire currriculum. Just “Grade 13″.

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If you want to shoot for management Calum, go for it. MBA doesn’t take long and if you know somebody in a company, you can likely bypass the MBA and human resources and get yourself snuck in with some smart talking and a management-worthy suit and haircut.

Middle management positions come and go so there’s always an opening somewhere. You’re an information filter. Don’t tell the people higher too much and don’t tell the people lower too much. Ask for reports. Be sure to make everybody who knows what they’re doing document what they’re doing every 15 minutes and do whatever it takes to jockey for a management position in another department for a slight pay increase within the next two years.

Continue until retirement and keep an ear for political winds of change and jump ship to competitor or friendly related industry (tobacco to pharma was a common route when I was around there).for improved resume and $$.

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But “muh jaded cynicism masking as wordly wisdom” isn’t going to get you there anytime soon and you’ll likely keep worshipping job titles through the end of time. You can fix that. Suit, haircut, proper resume, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” practice. I’m sure you can do it. “What Color is Your Parachute” is a great “get a job how it really works” book to go through at the library or whatever.

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I don’t even have a college degree. Ran out of $. Trick is getting past human resources somehow. There’s good ones but many are there as gatekeepers to prevent people from going further. Job descriptions requirements are also for that purpose. You can ignore them if you have the skillset and try it anyway. Temp agencies can do that for you for example.

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Instead of farting around on internet forums talking out your ass, pick up a motivational book and get started on yourself. Here’s a few. Any one of hundreds will do. They all give the same messages in different ways.

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Maybe he’s listening. I’d rather see  a success in a few years somewhere rather than continuing to experiment with corporate idolatry or mocking political philosophies. Corporate is a road anybody can join in. Shiny teeth, good second hand suit, shiny shoes, a smile and a good handshake, look people in the eye, learn to answer interview questions, keep lies about experience to a reasonable level (watch the dates), find a target company and find someone within (or use a temp agency as a crowbar), go through some motivational materials (“How Colonal Sanders Got successful with KFC” or “the guy that kept asking for work at a company until one day his car broke down and he told them he wasn’t coming that day” to perseverance – all good stuff)…. and well, just do it.

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