Well I’m a bit of a fool but I also stopped dating in my mid 20s. Now that I’m 43, I still don’t worry about finding a partner. Why? There’s plenty of people who _already_ desire me as a life partner, each for their own reasons but I’m not interested. So should the time come that I feel like bothering with that aspect of life, should I ever again, it’s not a problem. There’s many currencies besides money, and one can lack capital in one area while having it in abundance elsewhere.
Example: I’m good with written words. I could write _anybody_ to want to sleep with me, given enough time. The written equivalent to silver-tongued. I don’t do it though, thankfully, but I could – and no, I’m not going to prove it tongue emoticon
The currency I would provide in that case wouldnt be financial but rather emotional stability, bolstering one’s sense of certainty and cleverness, pride and worthiness, while providing just enough competition and arguing to keep things lively and interesting.
Knowing how the process works (it’s scripts in the end) keeps me from wanting to apply it until I’m ready.
lol it just means for a BRIEF moment you considered it and then quickly rejected it, probably less than 1/4 second later.
The fact that it even crossed your mind as the REMOTEST possibility would be my “foot in the door”. That’s why I don’t do it. I know too much unfortunately and its manipulative.
There’s a lot of ways you can get life-fulfillment without requiring a partner. But I think one thing that’s hard to live without is not having someone else UNDERSTAND you… at least a part of you.
If you can feel that someone else ‘gets you’.. and is willing to put up with your crap – it’s worth the world.
It’s ok; being lonely sucks. I get around it by amassing thousands of friends online. Real life is meh mostly – I own a house full of women, mother, inlaws, brother, nephew, nieces… and it’s insanity. 12 people in one house.
So, I do the “cave thing” in a way and sit on the back screen porch and do what I’m doing right now: Make friends online, talk to them, get someone to “see with my eyes for a moment.
For me, it’s lots of little bits of fulfillment that I doubt I could get from a single person. Maybe I could. But I’m also weird. I’d never want to be a role model.
Babies who aren’t held after they’re born, eventually die. So it seems that humans require a form of social contact to even be alive.
If they don’t have social contact, they talk to themselves – a society of one based on the people they knew from the past or imagine.
So yeah, a bond is critical for life. We’re doing it now; why else are we on facebook having this discussion? I guess when you have a single partner-for-life, it’s a richer bond I suppose than just a few words tossed back and forth.
I just didn’t like the intensity of it. The whole “swept off my feet” thing was a bit much and I lost my head a few times and afterwards, sat there shaking my head saying, “WHAT HAPPENED!?”