there’s always that missing “something” – the gap that can’t be crossed.

You had a necessary step to go through as well. I’ve had to cut myself off emotionally a little from people and I didn’t like it. I’ve been hit by a few sacks of pennies through the years and there’s always that missing “something” – the gap that can’t be crossed.

yeah… even now, I’ve found myself getting wrapped up in somebody else’s life more deeply than I realized. I was a part of their habit and they “needed me”. Well of course that feels great.. at first… then it becomes a chore… and then… sometimes you have to do the hard thing. Leaves a hole.

 

Yeah – as a kid I was “inconsolable”. Been working ever since to be caring and kind while retaining an emotional distance. In short, I care for the deeper person that’s invisible but not for their day-to-day issues. I listen, I’m sympathetic but I try to stay rational and cool and not get caught up in their emotions. Empath. Hard being an empath.

 

Not knowing all the details, it sounds like you’re doing it right. We’re all one bad situation away from rubber room, but if we can stay within the boundaries of sanity enough to function and even thrive, then it’s a good thing.

Yeah, I knew i couldn’t. Had my Julliard opportunity at 10. Special lessons. After six months, and learning a little about the real life of a musician, …plus the perfectionism required… I knew it wasn’t for me. Thankfully my mother listened; she only did it ’cause her friends said she should. But had she been a different type, I would likely have gone through the whole Julliard thing and I have no idea how much I’d be drinking at this point.

I never had the motivation. Still don’t. Skill? Yeah. Talent? Out the ass. Do i want to play the same piece of music over and over and over again? No. I can’t. I’d go mad with perfection.

I can’t explain how often I sometimes wish I could burn all the administrative offices of all the schools down, destroy all the records and give all the kids a chance for a fresh start.

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