The “mindreading” problem which is what I called it shows up in my academic tests consistently. It’s what they call, LISTENING COMPREHENSION. 45%. Fucking 45%. Not just this 7th grade test BUT EVERY one of them. Marched right up to school admins by myself. Give me help with this. Got zippo. So, I just kept using my own rules and still do. So there’s a little black and white from 13 yr old me.

The “mindreading” problem which is what I called it shows up in my academic tests consistently. It’s what they call, LISTENING COMPREHENSION. 45%. Fucking 45%. Not just this 7th grade test BUT EVERY one of them. Marched right up to school admins by myself. Give me help with this. Got zippo. So, I just kept using my own rules and still do.

So there’s a little black and white from 13 yr old me.

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How does a kid in 7th grade get 92-99 on everything else but 45 on one thing? I didn’t even try in these tests. I just answered things.

But “What is the author’s intent?” How do I know? “What is the best title for this paragraph?” Oh, I raged on this as a kid. Still do. Multiple choice ? ALL answers could work equally well depending on what you want to emphasize. But they want me to decide FOR the author? I didn’t write it. They did. What would I call it? Any of the choice are fine.

Yeah, that shit from school was a microcosm of an aspect of society that I still can’t stand. I’m used to it. I can navigate most things. I’d probably do a lot better at that test now but only by shutting myself off, which is painful, and asking myself, “What do simpletons think it would be?” I don’t like doing that. I don’t think average is a noble goal.

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VISCERAL SAMPLE: About 10 yrs ago now I saw 3s of this commercial. I angrily shut off the TV. I care about animal welfare but I KNEW this would spoil it for me.

Pulling at heartstrings to expand pursestrings? Fuck ‘em and their manipulation.

So, by not watching, it wasn’t part of my world. But I followed it like an enemy might: noting their success with it, which I knew would come just by 3s of it.

I saw they used the money they yanked out of wallets was _mostly_ used correctly. BUT… this heavy-handed stuff really got me.

I started to feel that pull. Little brown dog, sad eyes, kitten in cage, famous singer starting to sing. I knew what it was about and who it was for in less than 3s. Nah, they don’t have the right to do that emotional blackmail shit to me and shouldn’t do it to anybody else, no matter how just.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gspElv1yvc

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I can feel empathy but it’s of my choosing.

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