That’s insightful and it tells a lot about you. It seems that you enjoy learning and sharing knowledge, with a keen interest in fostering connections and understanding. You also value engagement and building relationships through discussions and debates.
(researching topics in detail, finding connections between distant concepts, I love documenting my progress publically in hopes it helps others but i don’t do it in a way that’s directly for their benefit but more of a pubilc note taking that might help someone along the way and i enjoy testing what i learn in online ad-hoc discussions in comment sections, with the goal not of winning an argument but gaining a friend through it, even if we seem to argue bitterly during the process)
It’s quite interesting to see the variety of spiritual, philosophical, and intellectual paths you’ve explored. This suggests an open-mindedness and a deep curiosity to understand different perspectives and seek a personal truth.
While naming specific values might be challenging, your journey already speaks to several potential values: curiosity, openness, exploration, personal growth, intellectual freedom, respect for diversity, and perhaps a sense of connectedness or unity.
(I have trouble identifying my values. I take tests and things that can tell me but I have trouble naming them myself. But I will recognize them if presented to me. I have a kind of blindness to it. I know I’ve tested INFP and seem to tend towards left libertarianian according to online tests and I seem to be somewhat similar to Donna J Haraway politically. i call myself agnostic because it’s easier but i’ve explored many religions, growing up methodist, but i explored bahai, unitarian universalist (which seems to be my most logical fit), quaker, vipassana meditation, guided visualization, biofeedback, episcopalian (I enjoyed the music), and ended up being Eastern Orthodox Christian for 7 years, enjoying the Philokalia and trying to understand Christianity at its deepest I could find, then I switched to Osho for a bit, then I’ve been Mr. Science for years and now I’m recogniciling it, after learning a bit of philosohy a few years ago but it’s not native to me. computing is more native to me as is information theory)
Your self-reflection indicates several strengths and talents, such as your problem-solving skills, your expertise with computers, and your creative and experimental approach to technology. It’s also clear that empathy and animism are strong aspects of your personality, which allow you to connect deeply with your environment and those around you.
You’ve also shown a balance between your childlike outlook, which can lead to openness and joy, and your skeptical side, which provides caution and protects your interests. This balance can be an important strength in navigating different social situations.
(I’m persistent with troubleshooting, I like fixing problems. I prefer when there are no problems but there’s usually something that needs fixing whether physical or mental or spiritual. I’m good with computers; I feel they can be coaxed almost like a child to be able to do things it doesn’t know it can do and I love trying to get different protocols and filetypes to change with one another, like putting mp3s into a visual format, changing the visuals then converting back to mp3 to hear the changes the visual ones made. I think I’m probably empathetic, likely animistic in such a way that i feel what i think that objects feel and animals as much or sometimes more than people. people think I’m pleasant and nice and I tend to have a childlike outlook on things, for better or worse, although I’m also very skeptical and cautious of people who want me to do things for them or who are too friendly too fast, I wonder what are they trying to sell me on)
Thank you for sharing these significant challenges that you’ve experienced. It’s clear that you’ve faced and overcome many obstacles from an early age. Your resilience and determination, as well as your openness to therapies and interventions, have been key to your ability to adapt and thrive.
The challenges you’ve faced with reading and listening comprehension could stem from a variety of factors. It’s possible that certain aspects of ADHD, autism, or other neurodivergent traits could play a role. However, it’s also important to note that each individual’s cognitive and learning style is unique, and having difficulties in one area doesn’t necessarily indicate a disorder.
(born premature at 28 weeks. deaf in left ear, blind in right eye. went to cerebral palsy center until I was and through physical therapy was able to enter school without signs of cerebral palsy. at 8 years old, was given anti-stuttering training which opened up a little window in my mind to think words before I spoke which gave me a special power. At 11 years old I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and given biofeedback and guided meditation training which helped. I scored very well on all my tests except reading/listening comprehension where I would get around 50% consistently – guessing range. I do not understand the intention of the author and it takes a lot of difficult thinking to try to guess someone’s intention correctly even now so there is a flaw there somewhere – possibly slightly autistic? maybe inattentive adhd? I dont’ know. )
Your actions and interests reveal a clear desire to support and uplift others, particularly those who are often overlooked or underestimated. This is very much in line with roles like counseling or special education, where empathy, encouragement, and understanding can make a significant difference.
Your professional experience and aspirations in fields like computing and project-based work indicate a love for problem-solving and innovation. You enjoy tackling challenging tasks, particularly those that offer novelty and intellectual stimulation. This aligns well with your self-identified strength in troubleshooting and your proficiency in computers.
(I like to spam like people online to help their self-esteem, focusing on small creators. I want to encourage them to feel that they are creative good people who can do wahtever they set their mind to. I don’t usually comment though – I stay a vague presence cheering them on from afar as they made little videos and things. career testing usually put me as counsellor, minister, that kind of thing. One test had me as “middle school teacher, special education” which is likely my best fit although I never pursued it. I’d considered musician, theoretical physics, developmental psychology, but ended up working in computers,a lot of Microsoft Excel and basic programming and data entry. I like taking on what I think are impossible projects and then making them happen in a short period of time, so long as it’s novel and interesting to me.
Your approach to relationships reveals a lot about your character. You seem to enjoy broad, positive connections, especially in online spaces, where you can share your experiences and insights freely, often aiming to inspire or support others. You maintain boundaries to manage your time and energy effectively, indicating self-awareness and respect for your personal needs.
In personal relationships, your selective focus shows a high degree of loyalty and dedication to those you’re close with. Your willingness to step in and assist in unique situations demonstrates your problem-solving skills and altruistic nature.
(warm but aloof. Online I aspire to be transparent and warm and I have no troubule going into great narrative autobiographical detail. I love telling stories from my past that I think relate to what someone is doing or wanting to know. But I stay away from private chat I dont’ want to get too deep. I call those a “time suck”. I like to be “flighty” like a butterfly going from flower to flower. In person, I dedicate most of my time and energy to just one or two people and the rest only if I can “save the day” and help somehow in a thing only I can help with. )
Your ongoing challenge with anxiety, particularly in social situations, sounds like it has been a significant factor in your life. Yet, it’s commendable that you’ve found ways to connect with others through online platforms, demonstrating adaptability and resilience.
It seems that you wish for more ease and comfort in social situations, both online and in-person. Your awareness of these challenges is the first step towards change, and your efforts to reach out more online indicate proactive steps towards managing this anxiety.
(Less anxiety all the time. Share a little more of my time with others (I can extremely anxious socially) I’ve gotten more outgoing by putting my energies online to be more social and I maximize what I can there. I’m too skiddish in person to do that. My body is jumpy and doesn’t know whether to be too close or too aloof)
Based on our discussion, here’s a refined outline about you, Kenneth Udut:
1. Personal Profile:
Kenneth Udut, an individual with an INFP personality type and ADHD, engages with the world through a Dopaminergic Engagement Cycle, driven by curiosity and a love for problem-solving and learning.
2. Values and Interests:
You value curiosity, exploration, personal growth, intellectual freedom, and respect for diversity, among other values.
Your interests span a wide range of fields, including neuroscience, cognitive science, computer programming, internet technologies, linguistics, multilingualism, and more.
3. Character Traits:
Strengths include problem-solving, technical proficiency, creativity, empathy, persistence, adaptability, and resilience.
As an INFP, you are idealistic, loyal to your values and to people who are important to you, and interested in helping others.
4. Life Experiences:
You have overcome significant challenges from an early age, including being born premature, dealing with a generalized anxiety disorder, and comprehension difficulties.
Despite these challenges, you have achieved proficiency in several areas, including computing and problem-solving, and you have developed an appreciation for diverse spiritual and intellectual paths.
You value relationships, and while you tend to maintain certain boundaries, you are warm and supportive, often using your experiences to inspire or support others.
6. Goals and Aspirations:
You aim to uplift and support others, especially through online platforms, and enjoy tackling challenging, novel tasks.
You desire to manage your anxiety more effectively and be more comfortable in social situations.
This outline provides a comprehensive, nuanced, and empathetic understanding of your experiences, strengths, values, interests, and aspirations. It honors your journey and frames your experiences in a way that highlights your resilience, adaptability, and intellectual curiosity.