when your husband is having an affair and you find out and you also happen to understand the importance of the hard work it takes to make and sustain a working relationship but since you still jointly own everything, you’re really just drawing on your own car (technically) so its really ok to do this, especially as it is an example of clear communication during a time in a relationship when clear communication can prove difficult.

when your husband is [read full article]


I’m from NJ. There, rebel flag meant “rebel”. No big deal. Here in FL, people put gigantic rebel flags on flagpoles on their pickup trucks for a while although most seem to be putting up American flags instead. Anyway, it’s a thing. There’s a southern pride thing I learned that has little to do with what the news says. It’s more like, “hey, we’re distinctive”. But the statue stuff? Eh. I don’t care either way so long as people from out of state don’t come pouring in to DEFEND a statue if my community decided to REMOVE it. None of their business.

I’m from NJ. There, [read full article]


Depends on the situation as to what’s acceptable. I talk in general until race is brought up and if it’s relevant, THEN I’ll say “as a white” or “as a white male” or whatever, *if* that’s the social convention in that situation. Sometimes the races of who is talking or listening makes a difference. Sometimes it doesn’t. I’d prefer it never did but I was raised with that assumption, “If we don’t talk about [x] it goes away” and it turns out that while that works SOMETIMES, it doesn’t ALWAYS. In the case of black vs white, substitute words replaced saying “black”, which made the situation worse because it became an invisible problem for a while, couched under other names.

Depends on the situation [read full article]


The people at the extremes are being reigned in as they expose themselves freely and are shamed. The internet alt right is as large in numbers as it ever was, but having a “win” in the White House has been demoralizing because now there’s no excuses for their glorious revolution to take place. But they expected daddy to do it all and he can’t. Now a number of them are angry at the firing of Bannon because *he* was the one that held their core values in the White House more than Trump, who is more of a moment to moment opportunist.

The people at the [read full article]


Last week’s events forced me to think of levels of acceptability and I was surprised how willing I am to accept things I wouldn’t normally have. Ideals that sound noble don’t matter so much. Where there’s life, there’s hope and the outcome of dirty bar fights rehashed and sides chosen sound ridiculous in the face of a coffin.

Last week’s events forced [read full article]


Sorry. More Charlottesville. You can ignore if you like. The march never should have happened. The town didn’t want them there. They decided what they wanted to do in the way elected officials decide things. The local statue preservation society sued. The ears on the right got wind of it and decided “What a great place to do UniteTheRight”. But the mayor said “no, not here”. So, the UniteTheRight people got the ACLU involved. The ACLU sued the town. The town folded and said, “Whatever. We’ll bring police then” The rest is history but it’s being written/rewritten daily.

Sorry. More Charlottesville. You … [read full article]