males and females are raised differently from the very beginning and contributes to the split

From:    HAMP::KUDUT        “CHILDREN’S RIGHTS LIST COORDINATOR” 12-SEP-1991 10:55:37.69
To:    IN%”JPAIR@UA1VM.BITNET”
CC:    KUDUT
Subj:    Homophobia, Sexism and Violence

The meeting really didn’t have a main point.  Just that Sexism and
Homophobia are related…  and that, from birth, we are channeled
into acting out the stereotypes (what is expected of us), as men
or women.  Like “Don’t be a Crybaby” for males or “Cry, be emotional,
but not too much or you’re then considered Hysterical” for females.

Stuff like that.

Homophobia:  Hmmm….

I’d say that homophobia is, of course, the fear of homosexuals.  And,
by extension of fear, the Hatred of Homosexuals, Hatred being Fear
channeled into a “Manly” manner….

It’s also part of the general shaping that we all seem to go through..
like… do you remember someone asking you to check your fingernails,
or look at your heel, or to show him/her how you carry your books?
(while in school, that is)…  and that there is a certain way to
do these things that describes you as male or female.  If you are male,
and you check your nails like a female, then you are a Faggot/Homo/Queer.

If you are female and you check your heels like a male (males, supposedly,
check their heels by putting their heel crossed in front of their other
leg, and lifting it up.  Females are supposed to look backwards, and lift
up their heel back there…), anyway… then she’s a dyke/lezze/queer

These are little things that go on in school, seemingly regardless of
where it is in the U.S. that this happens (I don’t know if fingernail
checking is a universal thing)…  but this isn’t the fault of the
children -or- the fault of the parents.

It’s a society thing.  Something that we’ve been doing for years and
years and are caught up in the cycle, for the most part.

As an example, infants.  Male infants get blue, females get pink.
Male infants are more aggressivly picked up and played with, while
female infants are cuddled, and played with very softly.

Now, when social scientists test toddlers for their aggressiveness,
and noticing that males are generally more aggressive, while females
just tend to sit there and cry.. they think…. “Ah HA… There MUST
be a natural difference between males and females.”… .well, folks,
there is, but it’s not what we make it out to be.

There is a need for us males to stay in power (and when women get
67 (or 57) cents to a males $1.00 (I forget which), we’ll be in power
for a LONG time).  The way we stay in power is by sexism… by treating
each sex as if they were OPPOSITE each other (the “Opposite Sex”),
by treating women as if they NEED a man to survive (and at 67 cents per
100 cents of a male, they tend to end up needing a man’s paycheck)…
etc…

It all adds up…  little things, here and there… all add up quickly
and powerfully.

Now, some of the things I just said are from the talk, but a lot of
them (like the Infant Stuff), is just stuff I’ve seen in Studies, and
also in my general observations of people dealing with infants….

That’s ’bout it…  I don’t know if I defined Homophobia… but if
you look at it in relation to Sexism, I think I’ve done an ok job :)

–ken

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