Some catchphrases need to die. If you find yourself using them yourself, beware!

A lot of catchphrases must die.

Overused. Yet we all use them, as hard as we try not to.

On the TV news today, I was reminded when I heard the phrase, “Not so much” said derisively about a news story.

Whatever. Not so much. Not! Yeah, right.

Sarcastic catchphrases REALLY have to go. I have to say that “ehh… not so much” isn’t the worst of them, but very few people can get away with it. Jon Stewart can get away with it. Paul Reiser can get away with it. Any Jewish grandmother can get away with it. But blond haired, blue eyed sun tanny newscasters in southwest florida? Not so much.

Whatever, you say. That one REALLY has to die. It should have died in the 80’s with Valley-speak. Remember the valley girls? It keeps getting resurrected again and again. At least “gag me with a spoon” was shortlived.

“You had to be there”. Hey, start telling me a story where I wasn’t there for, and then completely dismiss my ability to understand your story by saying, “You had to be there.” – it implies, “You just simply wouldn’t understand (you idiot) – you had to be there”.

PLEASE PLEASE, don’t say that. Just tell your story. Don’t strike out at the listener if you feel unable to tell a story properly. Just bite your upper lip if you get stuck in your story, finish it up as best you can and DON’T tell them “You had to be there.”

If you’re telling a joke, don’t say, “I’m terrible at telling jokes”. Well, then don’t start telling it, or if you do, finish up the joke as best you can, but don’t tell me that you can’t tell a joke properly. Just entertain me. Please?

Back to catchphrases. (I digress. Oh wait, that’s a catchphrase too, isn’t it?)

NOT. Oh, thank god that one has just about completely died from the english lexicon. Some foreigners who are a few years behind the times may still use it, but that’s about it. That was even worse than “whatever” – which, unfortunately will probably NEVER die, so long as there are teenagers who need to find some “last word” to say to their parents before slamming the door in their faces.

Talk to the hand. Dead.

Life’s a bitch and then you die. Not dead, but it was never all that bad of an expression.

…have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands. Oh, please, can you be more melodramatic?

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