Why I cannot chose for others:
If I am miserable, I cannot assume someone else will be.
If I am happy, I cannot assume someone else will be.
If I am struggling in a situation, I cannot assume someone will will find it a struggle.
If I am not struggling in a situation, I cannot assume it won’t be a struggle for someone else.
At my most religious time (I was uber-Eastern Orthodox Christian for a few years in my 20s), a friend of mine came to me at work.
He knew I was in “convertitis” mode and he tolerated it.
I hadn’t seen him for a while. Sometimes he would borrow money for car repairs and such.
This time, he came to me. I went outside the computer repair shop I worked at. He had a long look on his face and lots of awkwardness.
He said nothing at first.
So I said, “Do you need money?”
Without looking up, he said, “yeah”.
“How much? I’ll see if I can help..”
Somehow I knew what it was for. Too cheap for rent, too cheap for car repairs (this was New Jersey and any of his repairs were around the $600 range, and could only think of one possible thing that would be precisely that much.
I said, “abortion?”
He looked up, total shock and awe. “How…. did you….?”
I had the cash and gave it to him. I told him there was no need to pay back because I know it’s hard enough as it was for them.
Now to me, it was blood money.
I didn’t hesitate though. I had a friend in trouble. It wasn’t my place to judge. And as someone who believed 1000% at the time, baby had a secure place in heaven and I couldn’t imagine a God that wasn’t understanding of circumstance among the living.
In lieu of all else, conscience decides.
Long story short, they went on to have several kids and are now with a grandkid. Happily married all this time. [they were in their teens at the time and I was in my early/mid 20s].
So, it was a regretful necessity. I can’t place economic theory above human life, but I *can* place humanity and friendship in its proper place, which can put us in situations that are less-than-clear cut and have to be weighed individually.