So, it was a regretful necessity.

Why I cannot chose for others:
If I am miserable, I cannot assume someone else will be.
If I am happy, I cannot assume someone else will be.
If I am struggling in a situation, I cannot assume someone will will find it a struggle.
If I am not struggling in a situation, I cannot assume it won’t be a struggle for someone else.

At my most religious time (I was uber-Eastern Orthodox Christian for a few years in my 20s), a friend of mine came to me at work.

He knew I was in “convertitis” mode and he tolerated it.

I hadn’t seen him for a while. Sometimes he would borrow money for car repairs and such.

This time, he came to me. I went outside the computer repair shop I worked at. He had a long look on his face and lots of awkwardness.

He said nothing at first.

So I said, “Do you need money?”

Without looking up, he said, “yeah”.

More silence.

“How much? I’ll see if I can help..”

“um… $330”.

Somehow I knew what it was for. Too cheap for rent, too cheap for car repairs (this was New Jersey and any of his repairs were around the $600 range, and could only think of one possible thing that would be precisely that much.

I said, “abortion?”

He looked up, total shock and awe. “How…. did you….?”

I had the cash and gave it to him. I told him there was no need to pay back because I know it’s hard enough as it was for them.

Now to me, it was blood money.

I didn’t hesitate though. I had a friend in trouble. It wasn’t my place to judge. And as someone who believed 1000% at the time, baby had a secure place in heaven and I couldn’t imagine a God that wasn’t understanding of circumstance among the living.

In lieu of all else, conscience decides.

Long story short, they went on to have several kids and are now with a grandkid. Happily married all this time. [they were in their teens at the time and I was in my early/mid 20s].

So, it was a regretful necessity. I can’t place economic theory above human life, but I *can* place humanity and friendship in its proper place, which can put us in situations that are less-than-clear cut and have to be weighed individually.

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