I hope somewhere in your “stuff I need to do in life”, there’s writing on that list. You have a clearer head on your shoulders than … well … most people.
People can learn a lot from you, right now, just as you are, no somedays required.
https://kdp.amazon.com/ People always said I should do that. I made a few as a joke just to understand the process and it’s really simple.
(my favorite was translating “Pride and Prejudice” into a grammatically correct but useless language I called “blah” “Blah blahed blahingly”. (I like taking apart language and putting it back together again). Two people actually paid 99 cents for it even though I warn people not to…. AND they got mad, giving me one star. Of course it deserved one star: it’s crap).
Anyway, whatever the vehicle, people can learn a lot from you. I suspect they already have even if they haven’t said it. I’ll say it. I have. Keep being who you are.
[and change as you like. With a solid foundation, there’s no direction that’s really wrong for you as you’ll always keep an ability to realign yourself when necessary]
[my vehicle has always been the internet though. I like direct-ish contact with people in public groups online more than writing books. Too ADHD I think. Still, I figured I’d stop and bring it up ’cause too many people will gladly take the time to try to argue and knock a person down, but not enough will take a moment to observe and see things as they are. Ok, back to the discussion –
Oh I too am bad at writing. My hand cramps quickly. But yeah, I meant typing too I got mine up to 110 wpm average but I’ve never been able to break that, except for short bursts. Maxed out my finger capacities.
One of my dreams has always been a “thought collector”. Typing is the fastest way I’ve gotten to get my thoughts out but it’s still not fast enough. I tried speaking but I start to lose what I’m talking about rather quickly – even within the same sentence, so I stick to typing.
The back and forth online helps me. I get inspired by what people type and I’m able to respond. IF I stare at a blank screen though, I don’t get anywhere.
Essays: Oh I loved essays in school. They’d ask for a page and I’d give five. Ask for ten and I give thirty. Once I get going, I don’t stop. No idea why so I just run with it.