Outsiders and belonging; always fighting against a something.

I’ve always had my toes tipped in various subcultures without ever joining; I actually enjoy this position now; I’ve become a fan of various subcultures; an outsider champion – in a sense; a translator for the “rest of the world” (whatever that is).

I’m “the outsider that ‘gets it'” – and it’s a place I enjoy now, although for years I always wondered, “Why can’t I find where I fit in?”  But for me, I fit in inbetween things; sort of like glue, or maybe teflon…

I’ve been on a search for “my people” (that is, this imaginary group of people that exists, somewhere, that holds my values and I hold theirs) since, gosh, elementary school.

But now I realize my “group” is probably the “floaters” – heck, I don’t have a good name for it.  The people that exist inbetween worlds; perpetually at a crossroads in life; always fighting against “something”; fighting against some social force that says “conform or be exterminated or shunned” – and not WANTING to conform because that means a loss of identity.

Some of the people that make sense to me are the trailblazers who plunge ahead while others laugh; and some are those whose idealism is nearly beaten down into submission yet they continue to fight, knowing that if they continue long enough, the truth will prevail.

I dunno… I’m waxing poetic unnecessarily; the best of my friends have always been online; I have and have had ‘real life’ friends; but honesty, my online friends have always been the best.  It’s only been a few times that I’ve had “real life” conversations that come anywhere close to what I can get online far more easily; and they were usually strangers on a bus or train, or involved excessive amounts of beer or some other thing to get uptight ppl loose enough to listen to my drivel and sort of ‘get it’.

Yeah.  I’m sure there’s a name for it; I don’t know what it is.  Groucho Marx had a great quote, “I wouldn’t join any club that wanted me as a member” and man that’s true.

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