ontologies, fictional entities, biological thought, pragmatic.

ontologies, fictional entities, biological thought, pragmatic.
chasing after just-was thoughts.
it bothered me much that i could not collect my thoughts. so i built a thought collector. several. it was a long path including many things and it continues; how can i plot the waypoints? i don’t know.
I attempted to create structures several times; out of a thesaurus. I published it on Amazon in 2014. an AI linking my writings to the dewey decimal system; published them in 2015 and has a DOI reference number. Wikipedia entries and then wikipedia categories into some really beautiful graphs with thousands and thousands of nodes, all revealing usable patterns that are aspects of my brain and how i think; yet, there was no single definitive one. So, I accepted ontological pluralism, although I’d already leaned that way but I tried to prove it wrong with all my might as yes, I would like a singular answer.
and then I looked into my past; to before i was born. Was there a clue there? There was. A lot of these struggles are directly a result in my case of being born at 6.5 months and how the white matter in the brain forms a little differently, likely due to the exposure to the outside world at a different time than typical babies.
And so, it was a bit of a relief. That was in 2021; 8 years of working on a thing and I’d found some kind of point I could say “ok, I could just rest at that if I wanted to”; I never was seeking universals for all people just myself and yet, I’d sort of hoped I’d find universals just the same.
And I did. But then, seeing it all laid out, seeing all the roads I didn’t travel, the places where my interests weren’t, and how mine nestled within it all, the uniquenesses seemed heavy again; not looking for a doppelganger and yet it was almost too much detail.
So, I have yet to generalize. Generalizing was and remains always my problem; I generalize far too hastily and in ways that are sometimes confusing in communication; I can’t assume I’ll be understood, which I was already comfortable with and yet I still hoped for a bit of a Rosetta Stone. I found several. But I think I’ve rested and been resting on it. Hadn’t thought much about “The Project” for a bit except wondering why I’d paused it.
So, I am writing a quick lookback here, a waypoint. How to connect all the others? I don’t know yet. I have all the information; too much of it; yet not enough of the kinds needed to simplify and group – or rather, I _do_ have the right kinds – but it’s amidst what isn’t. 5/21/2022/9pmESTku

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