Only when stressed. Diagnosed with “Generalized Anxiety” as a kid, so mom took me to biofeedback and guided meditation as she didn’t believe in drugs for that stuff.
Did it work? Mostly. I also restructure my surroundings and life choices. It’s my world and I like it.
But I know the feeling.
The word my mom used to describe my state before biofeedback lessons was:
I never could get anything more specific. “Was it crying a lot? No. Was it angery a lot? No. Was it frustrated a lot? Closer but no. Inconsolable.”
Do you ever get into analysis paralysis? It’s like wheels spinning or obsession but it’s levels beyond. It’s quite literally a paralysis. Stuckness. It becomes you.
Acceptance, watching it from afar rather than “I CAN FIX THIS” helps me.
What confuses people outside yourself is they think you’re not “moving forward” because you’re “just sitting there”
They don’t see the internal desperation going on. It’s an internal battle.
“I see you and I’m watching you float by like clouds”.
That’s what I turn my internal dialog into.
I acknowledge the unhelpful thought or feeling (it’s a mix) “I see you” – and I allow it to pass over without further engaging with whatever it tries to bring.
Constant work though.
I have a two second meditation. I look to the left and as far away as I can see, imagining through walls if inside.
. Snaps me back into the present.
No idea if it works for anybody else, just something I do.