It’s an issue that falls under feminism. But there’s been only sporatic efforts in this area.
The 80s had what became known as a mythopoetic mens movement. Sit in loin cloths around campfires and doing trust walks.
But late 80s + all of the 90s was pedo-paranoia so anybody talking about masculinity celebration was thought of as up-to-no-good.
00s and 10s saw the rise of the single-cause mens rights like circumcision and stuff.
So that’s my thoughts atm.
Here’s an 8 minute thing I came across while doing Gen-X research yesterday (its my gen – so I should know the stereotypes about it better) – and it might slide into some answers for you.
[it’s primarily from a marketing POV not a “find myself” POV, but most generational studies end up having to do with “how to market to [this] generation”, so keep that bias in mind. But it’s only 8 minutes. You’ll find a lot that’s familiar there, as the GenX changes carried into the GenY although things have been changing a little lately.
Going on old stereotypes, if it was a “Real Man” celebration, everybody would just stand around quietly on their own islands, pondering his place in the Universe in a sea of nihilism and deciding what is the most effective ‘next step’ to take in his life.
[I’m finding out though, that that’s more a GenX thing. Boomers + GenY might be more dick floats]
it is, especially if you know that most construction materials and labor are “lowest bidder”
Sat once in a balcony of a fancy hotel. 4’x4′ square with patio furniture on it. I saw the crack. I felt it vibrating in the wind, 3 inches of concrete suspended 70 feet in the air.
I was moving up and down… I didn’t see ANY rebar in the crack area where there should’ve been one…. so needless to say, I didnt’ stay on there long.
Chance of it falling? maybe 12%, maybe 2%, maybe 0.05%… but enough for me to head in
I’ve gone into a few random hotel lobbies through the years. Grab some free coffee, use the wifi.. Haven’t done it much but a few times. You could be a guest. You could be a weirdo. They dont’ know or really care as long as you’re not taking a dump in the corner.
I was raised by my mother. No father. Gen-X. She did a great job raising us and played “both roles” [she’s more masculine than feminine] But it was really “one role”: Parent.
That said, there were _social_ situations where a man was expected to be there and she wasn’t allowed. So, I felt that but dealt with it.
But around the age 11 or so, I decided I’d learn what being a man is *to me* and paid attention to what worked and what didn’t.
At the age of 17, I wrote a “letter to my future self”, set at age 42 (because Hitchhiker’s Guide). I wrote who I wanted to become, what kind of man I wanted to be.
Then, I was 42. I found it the night of my birthday, after the cake went away. [I knew I had it, found it, and opened it up.]
I read the letter to my future self that I had written so long ago.
I matched up to the man I wanted to become.
I had become my own father.
I’m conscious that everywhere I go, with everything I do, I’m the role model for “something” as I go.
Despite not wanting to be ANYBODY’S role model, nevertheless, there’s eyes in little heads that watch and learn along with fellow adults that watch and learn.
What am I modeling? Am I proud of what they see and hear from me?
I believe in “be yourself”, down to the core. Gender constructs aren’t something that ever interested me much, but “being true to you” interests me *quite* a lot.
I see a lot of people that are posturing. They feel “they should be” more feminine because they’re women or that they “should be” more masculine because they’re men.
I know that’s not what you’re talking about but it’s worth bringing up.
To me, you have to be true to whatever it is that drives you, that compels you, that moves you and shapes you.
*If* a certain manner matters to you George, then exhibit it. Be it. That’s your best way to accomplish your goal.
You could probably align with Mike Rowe on this, although he himself is a well off college boy, but long ago decided to champion the skilled labor movement, his SJW cause. It’s admirable, although I’ve had a few scuffles with a few of his writings. But overall, I like him.
My aggression was redirected early (thankfully) through biofeedback, breathing exercises and focusing my energies on my hobbies.
If I didn’t, I’d have been hard to handle but I thankfully got *most* of it under control by early midle school.
That’s fine if you’re the cooperative type. I was always contrary, never a “fit in” kind.
Those that form clans and such, which is the majority, need more what you’re talking about.
There’s rites of passage regardless although not all of them are worth saving. Senpai/kohai, hazing (pledges), and this one that was official in England through the late 70s, and likely continues unofficially to this day, are some rites of passage that can be disaster.
But other rites-of-passage rituals I’m generally fine with Although then, there’s schooling.
Schooling itself is a rite-of-passage-gone wrong imo, as grades become gatekeepers for advancement, and the unchanging nature of the game that a child spends *12 years* in [most of their childhood] ends up becoming a torture for many although some still learn to thrive in the environment (much as prisoners can thrive in prison when they learn its ways)… but… well, ok, I don’t want to go on a school rant.