“Just being honest” is not always a desirable quality. It is usually what one says after they make a rude remark. It is the classic line of church ladies for centuries.

 “Just being honest” is not always a desirable quality. It is usually what one says after they make a rude remark.
It is the classic line of church ladies for centuries.

 Oh, heterosexual men talk that way frequently as they always have.
“Know your audience” is key.
What people talk about in their own private groups can be any subject matter.
Fetishes and such are included and not uncommon.
But when you talk about your fetish in a public space, you’ve placed yourself in an undesirable category and are called such.
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 It had other names in the past.
I have not heard it used in general discourse though. Solely on media such as internet and possibly TV or radio (I assume).
I expect it’s common in college campus discourse as well.
But I don’t think it is a general use term. General use synonyms might be boorish, dweeb, basement dwelling or the classic: “creep”.
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I’ve been an internet denizen / netizen since 1989 (I am ancient) as it is my preferred social communication mode and I have no qualms about it at all.
 
But it never ceases to amaze me how slowly the outer world moves. I have seen and expected things that took 25+ years to be noticed IRL to any significant degree – and when it does it’s always wrong.
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In some ways, in the public eye (local news usually sets the tone, whether it’s right-wing / left-wing / midwest-standard, city, rural), incel is viewed as a novelty term to describe the same character they always do:
either: the guy everybody thought was so nice but turned out to be pure evil or “we always knew there was something wrong with that guy”
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it’s not that they can’t find sexual intimacy. No, that’s not the problem at all.
It’s that their standards are ridiculous, the male equivalent of the female perpetual romance novel reader.
 I loosely study internet subcultures.
2010s i studies bronies and furry subcultures a bit.
totally didn’t see the incel subculture ’til around 2013/4. Didn’t know what a “gamer gate” was yet. That’s around the same time I started studying the alt-right groups. They were distinct but I was watching some merging. That’s prior to what’s-his-face joining the presidential run.
I just notice things.
Oh, new atheists were my most fun study.
But yeah, incels were in there.
I didn’t expect Qanon to become significant but I don’t predict things much. It’s when I saw it spreading among soccer moms I knew it was going to get crazy and it did.
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I also underestimated the impact of Columbine on late Millennials/Early Gen Z. Totally missed that one. Kids have always been fascinated by serial killers and stuff so that’s nothing new and occasionally one goes bezerk.
But the unique combination of the adult world only half paying attention (as always) combined with draconian police-state measures in schools designed to remove privacy and install panic, combined with the usually teenage/young adult underworld now online, half privately/half-publicly merging and joining in odd ways, only popping up into the real world when there is property damage or somebody gets hurt or dies… well, it’s been interesting to witness.
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So this latest writing prompt that I missed was:
“When did you notice incels having high expectations of wimmin?”
I first noticed MGTOW prior to incel. So MGTOW colored my opinion of Incel.
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 I wanted to “collect my thoughts” and experimented with ways to do is as easily and efficiently as possible. Disappointed in myself that it was a WordPress answer but all the homemade shit I put together wasn’t working. Cobbled it together and now everything I post just about ends up there.
Google search for my brain. Brought in old posts from the 10s, 00s and 90s too. Even found a couple from 1989 from diskettes.
It’s been productive. Ran it through some AI classifier things and stuff, self-understanding shit. Public so that I stay honest but with ugly shit colors so people get bored if they go on it.
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 You’re absolutely correct. Everybody’s a mirror in a sense as all people share at least some qualities. So, it’s an ongoing compare/contrast affair.
It’s something that we do in communication anyway: negotiating.
Sometimes it’s following a script. good vs bad. My gang vs your gang. Sometimes it’s “I’ll get you to think as I do”, or “I’ll destroy your position”. or it’s “I’ll build you up and help put you in a better emotional state”, etc.
But it’s a process. I enjoy it. It’s a funhouse, everybody’s broken mirrors of each other in a way.
and stripped down to text or text+images is FAR easier to handle than in person. Plus the internet is ‘store and forward’ – so it’s not ‘live’. Live has its own stresses in communication.
 I also recorded 15,000 vines when it was running. It wasn’t as good of a thought collector as I’d hoped which prompted the site.
Uploaded 10,000 of them to archive but it was clogging up their uploaded videos section so they were nice and gave me a corner of my own to put my stupid shit in. Mostly useless but taking the time to get the hashtags from the original vines in a usable way for archive has been helpful at finding patterns in my cognition or at least in my persona as it was then.
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Anyway… nothing interesting there.
Ultimately I’m shooting for authentic presentation of self that is only tied down to whatever categories people use when it accurately-enough defines me.
That means learning a lot of categories from different fields – and a lot of it is a “I won’t know it ’til I see it”.
Totally self-absorbed affair. Doubt I’ll get any universal-truths-of-humanity from it, but it’s been good learning along the way.
 You’re absolutely correct. Everybody’s a mirror in a sense as all people share at least some qualities. So, it’s an ongoing compare/contrast affair.
It’s something that we do in communication anyway: negotiating.
Sometimes it’s following a script. good vs bad. My gang vs your gang. Sometimes it’s “I’ll get you to think as I do”, or “I’ll destroy your position”. or it’s “I’ll build you up and help put you in a better emotional state”, etc.
But it’s a process. I enjoy it. It’s a funhouse, everybody’s broken mirrors of each other in a way.
and stripped down to text or text+images is FAR easier to handle than in person. Plus the internet is ‘store and forward’ – so it’s not ‘live’. Live has its own stresses in communication.
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 along the way I’ve learned that I’m libtard/far left/”progressive activist”/bleeding heart/globalist/sjw/male feminist/etc gang (depending who you ask) among others.
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Incels were fascinating because I could easily have been in that grouping.
I share a great many characteristics.
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 I think incel makes up a large portion of meme subculture. Not by name but by characteristics.
Considering the huge overlap between subcultures online, you end up with two equally powerful groups.
Could be characterised as furry vs gamer, blm vs ‘just wanna grill’, standard political tropes too, so seen in broad binary groupings, incel finds itself in an equally powered grouping as anything it might think its up against.
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 Now if you’re talking about “The Pure Incel” who does not associate with dank memes, bro-culture, Joe Rogan (center) to Tucker Carlson to however far right one wants to go (I’d include that slightly left-wing philosophy guy whose name I forgot but he might actually have pure incels), gamer, etc, I don’t know if it’s possible in 2021 if it was.
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