I’ve heard this sales pitch many times through the decades. You might not see it as a sales pitch but it is.
I’m not denying you the validity of your feelings. Your feelings about your parents, your feelings about your upbringing, your feelings about your childhood are yours and you own them as do those who you feel are part of the same tribe in this.
But it’s not an effective sales pitch. Grit is formed in many ways. You’re part of a very very large in-group where you nod your heads to each other and each understands the “something special” you have in common.
I’ll be politically correct and not call it trauma or abuse. It is your upbringing. It’s part of your proud tradition. It’s yours and I shan’t take it away by calling it bad words.