I’ve had trouble with universal theories even when I was a kid. I accepted what I learned _if_ it made sense to me. But it had to make sense to me; I would incessantly ask questions until I was satisfied. Likely autistic trait? I don’t know. I wanted to know what everybody else was talking about; they seemed to ‘get’ what each other was saying, but I was perpetually out of the loop, no matter how hard I tried. So, I felt like an alien among humans but I loved learning and still do. It was between 11-13 years old that I became keenly and sharply aware; and I could see it on my standardized testing! LISTENING COMPREHENSION down in the guessing range while everything else was high up. I asked teachers what that means; nobody could give me a straight answer it seemed. I knew it was WHAT IS THE AUTHOR’S INTENT?” and “WHAT IS THE BEST MEANING FOR THIS PARAGRAPH?” questions; But what I didn’t understand is how that was “listening comprehension”. It wasn’t until a few years ago really that I realized why I had problems with those things; what they call “Neurotypical” people now _do_ believe they have a mind-reading ability; I thought they believed that about themselves and they do. Whereas I always had to analyze my own and other’s meanings in a close to real-time basis because there is such variety of possibilities and I barely understood my own nevermind anybody else’s. And so I was being tested on “how common is my opinion?” or, “Do you hold to the standard opinion?” and the answer was: I can’t. I traced back in August 2021 exactly why finally; took me years; I was born preterm at 6.5 months – and there there is a phenotype that follows extremely low weight/very preterm babies that they know about just in the past few years. Not very well studied but I gleamed enough to figure out it’s white matter related; burst of oxygen suddenly causes rapid growth of white matter “bunching” in edges “aging” the brain as it were – explaining early learning when it comes but also the difficulties with long connections because their brains missed out of the other few months of gentle in-womb neural development and instead had to fight early and bloomed. So, they use phrases like mind-blind; I think it’s absurd because everybody’s mind-blind, they just imagine they know what someone else is thinking; they don’t actually unless they routinely answer things similarly a lot; then they can take a decent probability of guessing correctly.

I’ve had trouble with universal theories even when I was a kid.
I accepted what I learned _if_ it made sense to me. But it had to make sense to me; I would incessantly ask questions until I was satisfied. Likely autistic trait? I don’t know.
I wanted to know what everybody else was talking about; they seemed to ‘get’ what each other was saying, but I was perpetually out of the loop, no matter how hard I tried.
So, I felt like an alien among humans but I loved learning and still do.
It was between 11-13 years old that I became keenly and sharply aware; and I could see it on my standardized testing!
LISTENING COMPREHENSION down in the guessing range while everything else was high up.
I asked teachers what that means; nobody could give me a straight answer it seemed. I knew it was WHAT IS THE AUTHOR’S INTENT?” and “WHAT IS THE BEST MEANING FOR THIS PARAGRAPH?” questions; But what I didn’t understand is how that was “listening comprehension”.
It wasn’t until a few years ago really that I realized why I had problems with those things; what they call “Neurotypical” people now _do_ believe they have a mind-reading ability; I thought they believed that about themselves and they do.
Whereas I always had to analyze my own and other’s meanings in a close to real-time basis because there is such variety of possibilities and I barely understood my own nevermind anybody else’s.
And so I was being tested on “how common is my opinion?” or, “Do you hold to the standard opinion?” and the answer was: I can’t.
I traced back in August 2021 exactly why finally; took me years; I was born preterm at 6.5 months – and there there is a phenotype that follows extremely low weight/very preterm babies that they know about just in the past few years. Not very well studied but I gleamed enough to figure out it’s white matter related; burst of oxygen suddenly causes rapid growth of white matter “bunching” in edges “aging” the brain as it were – explaining early learning when it comes but also the difficulties with long connections because their brains missed out of the other few months of gentle in-womb neural development and instead had to fight early and bloomed.
So, they use phrases like mind-blind; I think it’s absurd because everybody’s mind-blind, they just imagine they know what someone else is thinking; they don’t actually unless they routinely answer things similarly a lot; then they can take a decent probability of guessing correctly.
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 I figure I probably have lower levels of oxytocin too; While I have a warm feeling towards humanity, it’s aloof; and when there’s too much agreement I start wondering, “ok, what’s the angle here? What scam is being pulled on me? They must want something more”; of course sometimes people just like what you’re saying and sometimes they’re politely agreeing in order to have an opportunity to leave the room and do their own thing instead.
So I have all these rules of social engagement but no idea if any of them are correct; I hypothesize and test and analyze results; a “little scientist” way of doing things;
Apparently regular folks have plenty of this oxytocin and they bond over sports teams and patriotism and common purpose – and it’s great but it always raises my skepticism at first.
==
 I want to figure out universal rules for all; but I figured I’d first have to figure out universal rules for _myself_ – and that’s been taking a few years
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