For me it’s a little less high and noble but not too dissimilar.
I was going to join a monastery in my mid/late 20s. Had it all ready to go. Went through some crappy relationships. The drama not for me.
Anyway, I tested out the waters. I liked it. REALLY liked it. Knew it was good for me. But, I took the greater challenge of serving in the world.
Now, I call myself agnostic. It works. I really DON’T know all that out there stuff and I don’t have answers about it.
I’m 43, more or less Eric Little‘s age. I love everybody. It’s the same kind of love thing. Every person I talk to online, I love. They’re my focus. My attention. I want them to find whatever it is inside that ‘clicks’ for them in their own lives, whatever it is.
Relationship wise? Eh. I’m cool with the the confirmed bachelor concept, Newtonian style. Or a niece calls me “Wizard of the Woods”. Or a monk. Whatever.
I figure if some time comes that I feel like pursuing a relationship, I won’t have any trouble. Now, when I’m 50, when I’m 75, I’m not worried.
For a long time I figured I’d just somehow end up with a woman whose been divorced once or twice and has kids or never had them and wants to adopt or even just wants cats. Or not. Really doesn’t matter to me, as long as it was an equal partnership and all that jazz.
I still have monastery plans as my backup. Life falls apart? Find a monastery. Go with it. It’s epiicurean – and I like the whole epicurean thing. I had a small taste of it in an Eastern Orthodox monastery. I’d be happy with it in other monasteries of other faiths or in secular situations. Doesn’t matter. It’s all metaphorical connections so I wouldn’t be faking it, just customizing things to my own understanding of them.
Yeah. It’s where academics came from. We should ALL be perpetual grad students on never-ending scholarships for life, studying whatever it is that drives us. Barring that, there’s monastic life where we can do much the same thing.
I think it’s a good option, serving a similar purpose.
I was wrong to try to compare my life path to yours. Our journey’s are unique. Your walk is your own. My walk is my own.
I had an edge of belittling while drawing comparisons and I apologize for that. I think that was the New Jersey coming out in me, my inner George Carlin coming out. Ok, I shouldn’t blame him.
I don’t want others to walk in my shoes either. One of the things I say anytime someone wants to do what I do/think like I think, whatever is: I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL. I don’t mind being a case study but I don’t want someone to follow me.
Whenever someone does, I push them away. I’m really awful about that honestly. I feel terrible when I do. But I do it. It just happens.
Anyway, I apologize for attempting to tread on your path and/or steal your story. It’s yours. Not mine. It wasn’t fair for me to draw comparisons.
Well, monastic life is just one of my options. I’m not trying to answer for you here, just myself.
AS it stands at 43, I have a mortgage. I’ve run a business for 13 yrs with my brother to help him and his family out. Before that, I had “a good job” – systems analyst, played with stocks and did well – but it was almost as a joke, other computer jobs before that. Worked with cerebral palsy kids before that for a year volunteering. Never finished college. Child psychology or quantum physics, Never did either. Regular school, before that, from 2-4 yrs old, I was in the same Cerebral Palsy center getting help, which worked because I appear normal for all intents and purposes and before that, born a premie at 6.5 months in 1972.
So, I dunno. I can’t answer for other people’s life journeys.
Someone wants to run an American dream they can. Someone else doesn’t, they don’t have to. I’ve done many things that ppl pursuing the American dream do but I never believed them. I’m glad for those it works out for but mostly sad for those who believe and find their inner lives lost and broken in the process, childhood creativity subdued to believing the adults around them who said, “You have to follow this path because I struggled hard for it and YOU have to fulfill MY empty dreams for me”.
I’m proud of your story, – I think it’s awesome and I support you. I’m sorry for drawing comparisons. I have a big mouth sometimes and should know when a heart emoticon and like emoticon is all that’s needed. My long-windedness ultimately was my weird way of saying, “I support your journey however and wherever it takes you”.
I’m proud of your stance. I support it. You can’t go wrong with love. It’s all that keeps me going honestly. For me, I love the species and what it’s capable of. I love the individuals, wherever I encounter them.
Here’s the marvelous thing about love: it can’t be contained. Nobody possesses it, at least that I’m aware of. It’s a verb. an action… it’s exponential when shared … it’s a movement that’s not bound by … wait.. ok, it’s a subject I could ramble about.
Your story got me in rambling mode. I don’t talk about love much because it’s more often misunderstood than understood… but I don’t think I have to talk about it here. You’ve said it all up in your original post and I’m just saying the same thing differently I think. Anyway heart emoticon like emoticon * 1000 here.