In my mind, this is the stuff that frat boys and desperate boys do, but not normal boys.
For that alone, it’s enough for #metoo to keep on keeping on.
But if it’s even more that that – which is already tremendous in scope – well, keep at it.
To me, #metoo is critical for whether it’s “some boys / most boys / all boys”, it’s too many as it affects “most girls”, even if those boys are men.
I’ll say #notme and that’s true. But if I occasionally hear, “No, you too” but it results in improving things for girls, I’m ok with it. It shouldn’t be normal that’s why I call it not normal.
In this case I can’t bat for the team that’s doing the bad things. If I’m stopping to say “Some of us are ok” without also saying, “and those of us who do this have to be held accountable”, I’m allowing it to continue.
If it means I get painted with the brush too, it’s still the correct thing to do.
I’m still learning. It’s really a shift of paradigm which is hard. I can’t accept “most men are rapists” but Jaime gave me a correction I can work with, which is that the normalization of “having to deal with rape” means that rape is normalized. So this is normal but it’s not OK.
That’s as far as my paradigm can shift right now but it’s a big step. Conditioning to a certain way of thinking is almost impossible to see and I’m going to be wrapping my mind around “It’s normal but it’s not OK” for a bit as that’s a new outlook for me to absorb.
Jaime, I don’t mind a discussion or debate on my wall, but I don’t want meme wars.
I agree that normalization of rape culture allows it to continue.
But now you’re personally attacking my other friends.
I’m taking responsibility for fellow men who promote and do things that are not OK. I’m working on building a better, stronger future the best I can and it is a lot of individual work and continual awareness.
I made this post. I’m participating in discussion and encouraging the spreading of awareness.
But I’m also taking responsibility for my fellow friends. Jaime was bringing a toxic atmosphere and singling out other friends to my page and that is unacceptable.
Just as I am doing what I can to take responsibility in one area, I am also doing so here.
This is why I unfriended Jaime.