I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Guadeloupian Cat Fright Strategic Missle Command School

Ok, I don’t curse much, so I edited a little extra. [do not use as template]

What the trump did you just trumping say about me, you little trump? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Guadeloupian Cat Fright Strategic Missle Command School and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on cheese factories, and I have over 300 confirmed catechites. I am trained in muscle relaxants and I’m the top fart sniffer in the entire Brigade of Regulatory Affairs Department of the Interior Bunghole Ministry. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the trump out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my trumping words. You think you can get away with saying that lovely prose to me over the rainbow? Think again, trumper. As we speak I am contacting my yarn string network of spicey memes across the porkbone and your 5th smallest digit is being traced right now so you better prepare for the shoe-fitting, Nusbalm. The toilet paper that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your ass. You’re trumping dead, slick. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can high-five you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in legless ju-jitsu, but I have access to the entire clergy of the Roman Catholic Church and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable nose off the face of your face, you little person (no disrespect). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bladder. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the cost of admission for the BOTH of us, you goddamn sexy thing, you. I will become a Furry and spread whipped taco sauce all over you and you will drown in it. You’re trumpin’ mine, hot stuff.”

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


four + 2 =

Leave a Reply