I have and you will and you also won’t.
Someone had to point out to me, when I said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me” and she replied, “You’re inbetween obsessions” that it hit me: I go from obsession to obsession, from “thing” to “thing”.
I let the “thing” envelope me, and meet people and get different ideas and thoughts about things. My context for everything changes around that “thing”. One day, I get bored of it, and move on to the next “thing”. I’m still friends with the people I was friends with in the other “thing”, just on a different level, no longer “into” what they’re into, as I’m into something else.
And so, I’m 42. I still do it. I always will.
I look back to what I was doing in my late 20s. I was into religious things, having gone whole hog into stuff about monks and deep thinking, and theology and such. I reread what I wrote then and think, “That’s my handwriting, but WHO WROTE THAT!?”
Ok, not that dramatically. Well, sort of.
Most of what I wrote I could just as easily write today. I haven’t changed in a deep way.
But a lot of it was surrounding the context of the “thing” I was into at the time… and, well, doesn’t make any sense any more.
The “gist” hasn’t change though. Who I am has and hasn’t changed through the years.
The friends? Well, the ones that are wrapped up in the stuff that “changed” for me, they go away. They’re not interested in me anymore. Those that understand more of the “who I am” stuff? They’re still friends, but we’re just into different stuff now.