I wasn’t being sarcastic. You want [x] ppl to stop doing a thing. They clearly won’t. But you’re clearly still bothered.

I wasn’t being sarcastic. You want [x] ppl to stop doing a thing. They clearly won’t. But you’re clearly still bothered.

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What does your perception of my alleged social status have anything to do with anything? Strange you’d think that is important.

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Do you care what others think of you?

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Do you fear being mocked by your peers?

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“Oh no, they’re laughing at me” is an 8 yr old’s fear.

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Your caring or not wasn’t ever a concern of mine. But you really should be around people who agree with you more.

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I’m practically an emotionless robot. You however have a lot of feelies and drama.

—–

Was this an attack? Huh. I guess you missed. I didn’t see a single arrow.

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That’s nice. You seem proud of a thing. Good for you.

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I dunno. “Morals” is one of those weird words like “faith” that barely makes sense to me.

I told you, I’m basically a robot most of the time.

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I scored low on one of those “empathy” tests. I can show empathy and rationalize its utility so I do it, but do I have it? Eh ,it’s like a switch.

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It has utility most of the time. My moral code is unfortunately strictly rationalized through and through. It’s not something I want or don’t want. It’s just my “normal”.

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8 yr old me’s rule was: people get weird in groups of 3 or more.

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I’m not referring to your life at all. I’m going from my perspective only.

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Even then, I’ve been the role of “fix it” my whole life so even that bit of empathy has to go away so I can fix a problem.

If your sister is throwing up on your lap on a car ride at age 7, you can’t go vomiting too. You just clean it up and move on.

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I’m a responsibility taker. Look over my shoulders, a utility needs doing, nobody’s doing, fuck I guess it’s me then.

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What makes your wants matter?

I know that’s a shit question to ask anyone to answer.

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 What’s fascinating to me is _that_ right there is the beast I cage.

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I’m here for me though. Giving approval is a social utility. But I basically use everybody I talk to online as a sounding board for my own thoughts 351 words so far I’ve written.

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I take names out of it, just my 1/2 of conversations.

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[generic] social utility. I only specialize when I have another rule to follow. For you, I follow my generic rules.

I built the site as a ‘thought collector’. Got tired of scraps of paper and shit. It’s only for me but doing it “in public” keeps me honest. One of my rules.

I usually “spoil the milk” when followers of mine get too close. I do something minor to piss them off so they go back to arms length.

I see individuals and groups of 3+.

Society is a term I use but I don’t have any feeling attached to it. I’m probably more situational than anything. Approach situation, apply rules.

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I’ve been several fictitious persons for a few years. Here, I’m SOMEBODY owned by NOBODY. But it expires in a month – 5 yrs is up. Oh well.

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Oh I like compliments. I have feelings. I notice putdowns too, but they don’t cause feelings to change in me.

I like gathering lots of followers and people forming a “concept” of me in their heads but if they don’t, they don’t.

Had 15,000 followers on Vine. That was fun. But I have no message. “Be you” stuff probably. I gotta allow folks the freedom to be themselves if I’m gonna want them to allow that for me. But I don’t expect it. Is or ain’t.

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I was a piano whiz as a kid. They shoved my ass on stage a lot. I performed my shit but turned down Julliard. I knew spotlight wasn’t for me. I can feel every eye, wonder if they got me in mind or thinking about dinner at home or whatever. It’s like seeing the lines of connection between people. Hate it.

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Understandable. I was a high scorer. But I didn’t understand what “teacher’s pet” was about. But I was used to folks saying shit about me or saying nothing about me. I had my thing, they got their own circus and monkeys going on that were “not me”.

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I talked to teachers as an adults because I was never afraid of authority. Just grown up kids. Nothing’s proven me wrong yet.

Show me a grown up.

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World’s full of overgrown children. I’m no worse or better in that regard.

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You got the organization skills I lack with that shit. You’re doing what I can’t. I collect my writings. I threw some junk up on Amazon just so I know the process but profit takes marketing myself which you could do for yourself with your narcissism gift but I couldn’t.

I had to construct a father figure out of real and fictional men and became my own father figure. So basically my father is talking to you right now as I became who I constructed as a personality.

Authority though? Yeah so few deserve it. Pisses me off when it’s abused as authority over others is a gift not to be wasted by pettiness.

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They said I had “Generalized Anxiety” as a kid. Mom took me to biofeedback and meditation stuff (way back in the early 80s – I got to control a computer with my mind, which boosted 11 yr old me’s ego high with that).

Did genetic tests last year, ran it through a free anonymous medical DNA thing online and I scored way too high with ADHD (but it’s the ADD kind as I’m not physically spazzy often).

Had time in a monastery in my late 20s, always stuck in “looking within” mode. But I engage on this thing all my adult life Real world society? Meh. It’s just gray and something to push through.

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I’m glad society exists for the rest of them as the whole gaggle of mess they do allows me to do what I do.

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Glad to have had this chat. I’ve been online since 1989, so I’ve been through all the possible conversation games I suspect. You looked worthy so I engaged. Glad I did. Good talk.

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