I was challenged to rewrite the Pledge of Allegiance, so here is my first and only draft. [I don’t necessarily believe what I wrote: it’s just for (dry) humor]
I) consent to a contractual obligation by symbolically gesturing towards this flag with my whole heart and without reservation or doubt.
Of) a country that is not at War with itself, with implied consent to not engage in Civil War that goes by the name of the United States of America which is also a description of the idealized condition
And) to the form of government known as a Republic whereby I agree to be represented by others in my place rather than having a direct governing power
One) nation, to reiterate previous point.
Under) Insurance Agency That We Never Hear From
With) [wishes hopes dreams lies and nonsense that should be true but isn’t].