I think your criticizing her was akin to someone who has never been to Oslo criticizing you for complaining about the people near Groruddalen.
In the USA when an immigrant starts complaining about American black people in America to a white person born in the USA, even the whitest of white KKK member will say something like, “If you don’t like it here, go back to your own country”.
Or, if a husband complains about his wife to his friends, it’s ok. But if their friends say the same things about his wife, he gets upset.
I find human behavior fascinating.