Yeah, I found having it available was better than actually using it. It’s good shit – works for panic attacks/anxiety. Avoiding using it but knowing it’s there is nice. I think I still have a few ancient pills sitting in a bottle somewhere.
Well, you helped your credit – that’s not a bad thing. Plus you can always press forward in new directions in any case. I was never much of a planner: stuff happens and I deal with it best I can. I look back at alternate realities that ‘could’ve been’ but I keep in mind they’re fictions. It’s not the road I took, i took this one and I like fooling myself that it’s a good one. Might as well. No takey-backey. Like now: Should I be sitting in front of a computer at 3am? Nope. I should be sleeping and tomorrow getting up to work as a quantum physicist getting stressed about the next thing I have to publish and dreaming that I was sitting behind a computer at 3am in a quiet forest somewhere.