I shan’t say where the issue is but it has something to do with gross stereotyping.

A point by point reply by a human of male gender: (I has outie peepee)

1) A Visceral Critique of Straight Male Hypocrisy and Aesthetics
(inspired by a picture of a woman posted by a male in this group)

I didn’t see picture so I can’t speak to your inspiration.

2) Guys look nothing like this yet think they’ve “earned” the life long (or night long) committment, acquiescence, love, and even OBEDIENCE of a woman.

I’m a guy but I’m single.  But it’s true: I don’t look like the statue of David.

3) The farce is in the general masculine position that women are earned via static rules like how big the diamond is or how much you spend on dinner (“investing” ?), but the hypocrisy is in how goddamn ugly most American men are in comparison to women.

Straight men are allowed to get away with being sloppy.  Women don’t generally have the same option in straight society. This is not true in all circles of course.  If you are a male up to the age of 25, you generally must look good, otherwise you will go no place in society’s dating/mating ritual.  Preening can take a surpringly long time.  As a teenager I would take three hour showers and fix every hair to perfection.

4) Like, really pizza face, there’s a cure for that at sephora. (Make-up shop, dumbass.)

At 43, thankfully I only get the occasional pimple but I treat it promptly.  But even as a teenager, I hated zits and treated them quickly.  I was blessed with good skin, so I didn’t have the issue that some people have with pimples.  I’m not sure what sephora is, but I believe it’s a place in American malls?  Or is it online?  I only go to the mall when I must.

5) And why aren’t you waxing that stubble?

Among American men, beards are more fashionable at present.  I already had a beard BEFORE the trend began and I have to deal with people calling me poser and follower.  That’s fine though.  I don’t shave because I hate stubble and smooth skin that I WANT gives me skin burn.  Also, waxing doesn’t tend to work on men’s beards beyond a certain thickness.  This hair is THICK and not given to pulling.  As a teenager, I tried a “sugar wax”.  It worked well ’til my pubescent staged peach-fuzz gave way to man hair.  Then it was shave, burn, pain.  Sucks.  But men have it easier.

6) The fuck is up with your eyebrows?

I shave mine with an all purpose hair trimmer.  Works on my beard and eyebrows.  Inbetween, I use tiny stainless steel scissors to cut stray hairs.  Puberty never ends: it just changes form.  I’m in the “wtf is this hair coming from” stage – not so different than when I was 12, just in different places.  Stupid testosterone.

7) Also your pits are stank, and no the smell of “arctic musk” or whatever male cosmetics are pushing these days is stank too. Why the fuck don’t you smell like fruit or flowers 24/7?

Believe it or not, in my case, when I was a teenager, my favorite deoderant was “Teen Spirit”.  I don’t know if it exists anymore, but i smelled like fruit + flowers.  I got it because it was stronger than the crap sold for me.  Now I use whatever’s on sale that works.  Women’s works better usually, so I use it but I’ll use the “unisex” or men’s too.  Doesn’t matter to me as long as they don’t stink and sweat isn’t coming through my shirt.

8)  Why the fuck can’t you find the clit and why the fuck do you think a “tight pussy” is a good thing? If you knew shit about female anatomy you’d know that’s a bad thing, homeboy. Why aren’t you smooth as a dolphin down under? Lord knows you want us to look pre pubescent. And the fuck is up with the porn you watch? Like really, what the fuck is up with porn. Porn “actors” look like they’re trying to commit murder. What the fuck do you have to say, if not for yourself, then for men in general?

Ok.  I can’t answer these well enough.  I find porn ridiculous, although I know for some women, it’s empowerment but for others, it’s exploitation.  I don’t go near it myself because it’s just not my thing.  Even as a teenager, I found it stupid.

9) Oh, and before someone starts in on me like “why do you like that shit then,” I’m a vagitarian. Just thought I’d give voice to some female grievances. Feel free to believe that only lesbians think this way. Happy holidays y’all.

I assume vagitarian is another term for preferring vagina.  Well, that’s ok of course.  I gave up on dating and relationships and sex in my mid 20.  It was a lot of bullshit drama for me and I had more interesting things to do than relationships.  Would I recommend that to everybody?  Nope.  Just my way.

10) Don’t be surprised if I don’t reply at all. I just did this to be thought provoking. Pigs.

You provoked my thought.  I can tell you a bit of discrimination I usually get at this point though, it’s: “Well, all men are like [x], but you Ken, you’re not like that”.

Thing is, I must be just like that.  I’m a guy.  I’m part of the set called “men”.  I don’t want to be “different from”.  I’m me.  The issue isn’t that I’m different than other men.

I repeat: The issue isn’t that I’m different from other men.

I shan’t say where the issue is but it has something to do with gross stereotyping.

It’s not that stereotyping doesn’t have its place: it does.  Police use it to make it easier to know who to shoot.  They see brown, they shoot them down.  I have a penis so I accept the bullets coming my way.  Stereotyping is reality and it’s not going anywhere soon, so I accept it.

Anyhow, I thought you might appreciate a point by point response by a man.  Thank you for your time.

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