Assault the fear? Can’t. It’s life. Some things you just have to stand tall and face head on until it’s done.
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I’ll hide my computer and valuable things, be careful with answering inevitable probing or leading questions that try to extract information from me that they can use against someone else, stuff like that. I COULD just hide, but what good is that? I see the situation, change what I can, deal with what I can’t. The weekend will pass either way, and there will be a Monday at the end of it all.
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I assault with civility. It’s a dance. Alpha-style behavior is precisely the kind of behavior manipulators know how to work around.
It takes far more power to navigate the subtleties than it does to be a Gorilla.
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I’ll be doing it. It doesn’t scare me really. It’s just annoying I supposed. I don’t care for social situations generally and in-built awkward ones even more so. I can’t wave the awkward away with a magic wand. It’s just how it is. I deal.
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I’ll probe then. How is your housing situation? Is it stable? Income stable? Bills managed well?
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Ok. Are you responsible for the month-to-month stability of your housing situation? Internet bill? TV (if any)? Does your income come in on a regular basis, or is it dependent upon customers finding your business and utilizing it?
If you lose your income, do you lose a mortgage? Or rent?
Are there people you are dependent upon to keep your living situation in good order?
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I ask these things because you don’t know what you’re afraid of. There might be things in your life _worth_ being afraid of, which is why I ask.
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Ok. Right now I can see you have Internet. We’re talking. You have debt. But somehow you have a bed to sleep on. A roof over your head. What circumstances could come about that would result in you losing Internet, a roof over your head and a bed to sleep on?
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Well, homeless in a first world country is do-able if you can locate the right resources and can get yourself out of situations.
OK: How about certain illnesses? For example: A stroke. Brain injury. Memory loss. Inability to speak.
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Ok. But consider: This requires dependency upon other people. Either govt instituted required help or church help or general goodness of other people.
But, what if you are in a hostile environment with these illnesses and there is no help available for you to take from?
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In short, _who_ are you dependent upon? Those are the weak points. Who in your life is “letting you get away with” certain behaviors that someone who does not like you would not allow you to?
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Here is my assumption: You utilize your general pleasantness and ability to work people (and work with them if needed) in order to endear yourself to them somewhat enough to afford you the lifestyle that you are comfortable with.
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I dunno. You strike me as a minimalist. I’m hard to surprise.
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Hm. Perhaps. I just know enough to know if I say I’m nothing special, you say I’m arrogant. If I say I’m arrogant, you say I’m nothing special. Perhaps not a handicap but it sure has the appearance of a game.
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You say “as if”. It’s your script. I’m playing my part.
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Yeah, once you ‘get it’, you can say it 100 different ways. Makes sense it’s Tao Te Ching type stuff. I’ve read bits and pieces of it through the years, and that bit about “not competing eliminating competition and competitors alike” concept is one that I’ve tried to live by for… gosh, long long time now.
It annoys a lot of people who are accustomed to competition, winning, losing, being the Alpha, whatever. Maybe I first got it in a Karate Kid movie, might’ve been something I read in a book somewhere….. I can’t begin to think where.
But when I read it, it ‘clicked’ – as did your 2nd reformulation of it. Like you said, once you ‘get it’, you get it.
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keeping from being arrogant about it can be hard though. I have to watch for that in myself, either being it or projecting it inadvertently.. and to combat that in myself, I let myself dive in and compete sometimes… ’cause there *is* some pragmatism to competition sometimes, putting my money where my mouth is so to speak… metal sharpening metal type thing.
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Meta is “beyond”. It can exist in a realm that can’t be spoken or described.
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