I have trouble “seeing myself”. I consider it a categorization problem. Goes all the way back to school. I could never edit my writings after I wrote them. I could never go back and edit music I played (improvised). Can’t categorize any of my own output and yet I can do it for anybody else. So I thought if I just “get it out there” – output as much as possible, it’ll force me to look at it and gather it together and maybe with some computerized tools it will help me gain some insight that I can’t seem to see myself in myself.

I have trouble “seeing myself”. I consider it a categorization problem. Goes all the way back to school. I could never edit my writings after I wrote them. I could never go back and edit music I played (improvised). Can’t categorize any of my own output and yet I can do it for anybody else. So I thought if I just “get it out there” – output as much as possible, it’ll force me to look at it and gather it together and maybe with some computerized tools it will help me gain some insight that I can’t seem to see myself in myself.

I pursue whatever my intuition drives me towards. It usually steers me right. When I get bored, I stop. So far I’ve been on this project since April 2013. I suspect I’m somewhere in the autistic spectrum – definitely ADHD (once I learned “Hyperfocus” is a characteristic for some) – as a child, diagnosed with “Generalized anxiety disorder”, the desperate self-analysis is likely me putting a lot of this excess mental energy to a positive use and maybe help a few people along the way as I go. The authenticity factor is crucial likely as a generational thing. I’ve heard that “GenX” often has this as a focus. 80s/90s white guy desert retreats are a stereotype of this but even though I didn’t do that stuff, I’m certainly of that vein in a sense.

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Yeah, that kind of thing. I wanted to find the universal answers first – been doing that since I was a kid. But I realized “how can i possibly understand other people if I don’t really understand myself?” well. .that got the ball rolling.

It’s also pedagogical. I try to teach as I learn and progress. Everything I learn, I try to show somebody as I learn it. So I’m constantly posting stuff wherever, and if I’m not, I’m at least giving ❤ and likes on people posts, being the invisible audience they need. [not as much on Facebook as it counts them in weird ways but on other social networks I’ve done that.

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Ultimately, I’d like to get universal. But if I can’t, I can at least get my own. I’ve gotten my feet wet in a lot of subjects I didn’t expect to. I now know I’m a fan of second order logic+ > first order logic, that time is crucial and not optional, that I prefer ontological pluralism — all stuff I wouldn’t have known as I generally hate philosophy stuff. But I had to learn as it had a lot of the categories I needed to find.

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Ah. Sorry. “What knowledge is universal and lay outside of the realm of debate or opinion or tradition?”

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Yes. a) keeps me from getting cocky as I find out other people think differently than I do sometimes. b) I’m challenged to attempt to negotiate meaning in such a way that it forms a friendship and/or an understanding even if we do not agree in the topic c) I enjoy engaging with people online as I find the variety fascinating – ontological pluralism right there — whereas in real life, diversity is often very limited.

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of output. I’ll get some idea in my head, work on it, then output a result (an image with written output or I’ll make a short video or something) that either makes sense to people or not. Or I’ll share what I’m reading (I plough through science papers, mostly skimming to find something I’m looking for), sometimes ask a question to start a little debate. (last one was on Entropy. It got some decent amount of diverse responses

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Lately, I’ve been on a theme of vestibules (part of a search for good metaphors that cover a lot of territory)
 
Started when I wondered why box and line diagrams are so useful in so many diverse contexts.
 
. Sent me on a quest and I’d post updates as I learned.
In period of a few weeks, I’d gone from “hey I’m using a diagramming program that works well (yEd), to rediscovering sixdegrees of wikipedia and connecting topics which ended making some beautiful graphs, to ending up looking into the developmental origin of layers in the body, which ended me at the mesoderm being the likely human analog for the concept of “vestibule” which best expressed a concept of a “mixing room”
I don’t know where I’m going ’til I get there.
 
“How do you know how to get to your destination if you don’t know what your destination is?”
 
has been one of the questions I’ve been answering on an ongoing basis.
 
I tend to be in the realm of science / physics / math/ computer science a lot, occasionally dipping my toes in philosophy.
 
Wish I could compress more succinctly – which is again, why I’m doing a lot of this. Need good categories to summarize. Without categories, it’s things loosely associated.
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 https://www.amazon.com/Out-Context-Cross-linked-Thesaurus-context-ebook/dp/B00KFOQIG6
Oh, it’s ongoing. I haven’t found new subcultures to look into lately but I’d gone through quite a few. Are there particular subcultures you had your eye on lately?
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Late millennials and early GenZ are in two different places, both in life (ages) and eras too yet they have a lot of overlap including memes. But when GenZ uses a meme and a “dank Millennial” uses a meme, there’s often differences in interpretation.
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 Hm. Well, political memes are a good start. The late millennials (I consider them the XBox Generation in my mental catalog) are distinct from what I consider the Minecraft generation”. Millennial ages tend to be very serious about things, even when they’re joking. Politics is central to most things. GenZ likes the same kinds of humor, seeming to laugh at the same kinds of things. But laughing both at what the memes are supposed to represent (the dead obvious) and laughing AT the later millennials for actually believing that crap. SO it’s a double-edged laugh
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 I poke around Discord, iFunny (even though iFunny really is trash, it’s a fascinating human study the ages seem to range from about 4th grade to Army brats with nothing to do on base) BUT ALSO a surprising amount of actual women and of course the boys pretending to women ironically and the ironic and actual femboys etc too) – so it’s a strange/interesting place.
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 Oh it’s very related. Sometimes the older memers take themselves a bit too seriously: “memers made an election win” or talking about meme wars like old solders on a battlefield – but yeah, I think memes serve to function as a social cohesion factor (“don’t be like these unwanted things and maybe if you pass the council we’ll let you stay a while”)
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 As far as I can figure, it basically started as a joke. A lefty troll situation, gathering easy right-wing marks by putting together their fav conspiracy topics all into one. Just jokes. But it started to get serious. Some “drop” people or whatever giving their next bit of info. But again, not so different than a living creepypasta at that point. But I think when it got explicitly political rather than a vague “rich people drink the blood of children they traffick” stuff which was bad enough, and it got weaponized as a one sided tool, then it was really dangerous.
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 No idea where I’d live. I believe I can grow-where-I’m planted on one hand, on the other hand, when I was in my 20s I spent a little time in a monastery and liked it a lot. I consider myself agnostic now just for ease of conversation (it’s generic enough) but the lifestyle in a monastery suits me. Figured out what it is; epicurean. The Eastern Orthodox monesteries were Epicurean communities that were converted – Epicurean with some Christian frosting on top – and so kept the character of the “friendship-communities”.
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happy? I don’t know. It’s not awful. I’m a make-do guy. My dreams are either unreachably big or reachable. I don’t usually have those awkward inbetween ones.

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 Well, I’ll give an example: It was maybe 2011 I joined Orkut (I liked investigating social networks). Turned out to be heavily Portuguese. Well, at the time Google was experimenting with a translation feature within their chat. It was one way only so it was complicated but because I wanted to communicate and make friends there, I figured out a few Portuguese online phrases, how to get Portuguese to English working on my side, THEN teach them how to set up English to portuguese on their side. And so, I made about 80 impossible friends: Impossible because we’d never have met in real life not only to geography but to language barriers – and maybe age differences too (in real life, 10 years can make a difference in friendships in some areas). Orkut shut down a few years later but about two dozen or so of them have followed me to several online places like Twitter and Instagram which is very cool.
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Moral? Hadn’t thought of a moral really. For me, it’s the individual connection that’s amazing. People get weird in groups of 3 or more.
Yeah. Impossible friendships. I never lost the feeling of the magic. I used to take a bus around the USA to visit friends I met online in the 1989-92 (age 17-20) in chat rooms. One lady flew over from England with her kids to meet me because I ran a big group in the early 90s and she was a bit big in her realm with a ‘zine and a following. You may lose the interaction through the years but once you’ve connected with someone, there’s ‘something’ that remains in the connection, spark of a memory or something.
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But — It’s not the 90s or the 00s or the 10s. It’s 2021. internet is nearly a public utility at this point.

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 Ah, that. That can only be lessened by degree not by kind I suspect.
Well, communication in general is a violent process. Unless two people are of like mind to finish their own sentences, there will be some level of tit-for-tat.
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There are some exceptions to that – although not really exceptions but rather “more smooth” processes.
well.. actually, my online friendships tend to be shallow. I like conversation – back and forth stuff — a bit of aloof warmth but I don’t like getting involved in their lives and things. I usually sour the milk when it hits the “deep and meaningful” part of things.
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 I like back and forth, I like being appreciated. I like questions and answers and little online battles and friendly tiffs. I even keep a couple of pure assholes around to keep me sharp.
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 Managing difficult people online? That’s .. hm.. interesting. My process is usually the same: I try to set it up where it runs itself as much as possible. but I always hover in the background to come in when things get too hot. A big thing I managed with people was a minecraft server from 2012-2014. Almost killed my poor laptop. No idea what I was supposed to do, just winged it. Ended up with 27,000+ unique users and a few hundred regulars that would shuffle in and out constantly. No big deal now but this is before they had the mega servers, before Microsoft bought them, etc. I’d find people to be ‘in game’ and manage. My favorite people to promote were the hackers, the troublemakers, the people making a big noise. Didn’t always work but I found they usually just needed someone to take them seriously for a chance to shine. Doesn’t work in all populations though and the world online in 2021 vs 2012-2014 is very different.

 

I seem to gather a bunch of people around me but I stay in the background as much as I can, I let them be themselves but try to encourage the best out of them lightly, then I leave.
 
Light touch, minimal interference.
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oh yeah. That’s been one of my ongoing ‘things’. Another of the reasons for my recordkeeping. I looked into it once if there was perm ref marker. a DOI is supposed to be. So I figured out how to get one and in 2016 I took my work so far and uploaded it publically, theoretically forever but you know how forever is. https://data.mendeley.com/datasets/92825j2d2r/1
Writing Corpus of===
and also part of my results for the classification project as I was at at the time. https://data.mendeley.com/datasets/2ggd5pyngv/1
Results of AI Dewey Decimal Classifier on Kenneth Udut online written output corpus (26 yrs) (brain)
data.mendeley.com
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 I wanted to figure out what is the most BROAD classification system of knowledge there is. Well, library systems. This is a free service and it works. I use many other tools too but this does a fine job of figuring out the probability of the “dewey decimal” number will be for the writing you put in.
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I memorized a good part of the “dewey decimal system” as a kid so I knew it well.
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 It gave me clues. “Time”, “Epistemology/Causation”, “Causation”, “Philosophy of Science” were on top. Other significant players were “Library classification systems”, certain areas of computing, certain areas in physics.
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 well, they’re areas it figured I was writing about a lot. I went it about it the long way – and don’t even know if I compiled it correctly (huge excel spreadsheets and Access databases toppling over later). but I figured out that there were a number of important subjects I could’ve written about that I apparently NEVER wrote about. Many topics in Philosophy for example. Logic was missing even. Not even a peep. Never my focus. So, I wanted to strengthen those areas up and so I did. Joined some philosophy groups, started beefing up on logic things, etc.
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Yes we had a number of talks way back about running online groups, comparing notes and such. Our styles are remarkably similar despite being so very different our processes.
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At what he does, he’s very very good at it. He was a significant part of my “I’m going to investigate Philosophy” time (its a subculture – I referred to as “Internet philosophers” – to me but I took a lot out of it myself that was very useful). But I finally found what I needed out of it (the kinds of logic that I work with and why and how pragmatism fits in for me) and I had a long night, big back and forth with him where neither of us backed down and I left but we remained friends.
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Or I might have been arguing about “the problem with thought experiments”. I argued a lot.
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Thought experiments are created out of thin area. They are a core part of how modern philosophy operates. Start from nothing, add a thought experiment, work on it with only logic. But we’re flesh and bone on a planet with gravity, tiny humans that shouldn’t even exist sort of argument.
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So every thought experiment is wrong.
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My argument with Seedy about thought experiments was when they are being used to support logical conclusions, what basis do they rest upon? A lie. A falsehood.

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I think thought experiments make a fine bridge as they did with Einstein. But as something that stands-alone on its own merit, I see it as a game some people fine fun but I wouldn’t base public policy on it.
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Somewhat similar yes but because you become part of the story yourself — it’s some kind of substitution but I can’t remember its name — you’re there doing the things. a “pure thought experiment” does not work in that fashion.

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 Synonyms oddly enough are one of the things I use in my way of doing logic stuff. One oddball experiment I did in 2013 was to try to cross link every word in a thesaurus and see what happened. I ended up with 5 natural categories of words but I didn’t know what to do with them. I sat for a year on it, then figured I’d spit it out into an Amazon book, see how that works. Had a couple of buys, one nice review from someone that doesn’t know what it’s for but thinks it could be useful for poetry or something. I also uploaded it to archive. Still don’t fully know how I got those 5 categories. https://www.amazon.com/Out-Context-Cross-linked-Thesaurus-context-ebook/dp/B00KFOQIG6
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“It’s been a real pleasure very much pleased to meet you.”
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