Thankfully, most of them are pathetic losers. In Japan, they have a special name for men like that and they’re seen as pitiful beings, sad and lonely, and I suspect that’s true.
But even if the percentage of predatory ones is small, they’re out there. What pisses me off is that they make ALL MEN look bad.
If I ran a police force, I’d hire people like you who know how to identify them at a glance to at least tip off the authorities to take a closer look. If they’re harmless? They’re harmless. But if they’re not, maybe they can get some sort of intervention and assistance so that they never offend.
I don’t know. That’s where it’s tough. There’s people all around the world trying out different solutions but I don’t think any of them have the perfect answer. There’s organizations that have been working on fixing this for longer than either of us have been alive and they don’t have the answers either.
Now some of them would be easy to spot. If someone is collecting pictures of boy’s bare feet, well, there’s a good chance that’s somebody who might be a future problem. Yet, if they’re not doing anything wrong besides that, they can’t be prosecuted for anything. Never understood the foot thing.
But identification gets harder if they get more clever. In behavior, there’s not much difference between being a person helping kids out with an honest purpose and a person who is building their trust for the purpose of having illicit encounters.
Same words. Same contact until they cross over that line.
Yet, if all men were banned from working with kids, a lot of good will never happen. Kids need male role models, mentors, teachers and guides in their lives. Women can do a great job, but some things require a unique perspective and style.
So, I don’t know. I guess the best that can be done is teaching skepticism. It’s good to trust people but know when to be skeptical of them as well. Teach good “bullshit spotting” to kids. i don’t think it helps to try to teach kids to not talk to all strangers: that doesn’t work. But what *can* be taught is a “sense of awkward” and give them the ability to handle themselves in potentially very awkward situations if they find themselves there.
There’s not always trusted adults around to turn to.
In your case, can you think what you might have done differently?
Do you have any advice you could give your younger self that would have improved things for you? Is there advice you could give your younger self that he would have listened to?