I could be a funeral director. It’s actually come up on my “list of potential careers”

I could be a funeral director. It’s actually come up on my “list of potential careers” that I’d be good for. You have to be caring, empathic, understanding. It shows up right alongside coach, minister/priest/rabbi, kindergarten teacher, guidance counselor, psychologist.

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Not crazy about the 70s style of funeral homes that do in the USA though. Never understood why they’re so unstylish.

if i did it, I’d probably try to appeal to hipster funerals. Sci-fi, fantasy, fandom, themes. Like, if the person who died was into, I dunno, James Bond, then their funeral would have a James Bond theme. Or if it was Star Trek, they’d get Star Trek. Doctor Who? Coffin would be a TARDIS. Stuff like that.

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Oh do it, definitely. I think we’re thinking on exactly the same kind of lines. I’d love to hook up with the plasticization people too. Getting plasticized and sliced for art isn’t the worst thing in the world if it’s what you want.

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Full service end-of-life care. Fascinating. I love the Hospice option in the USA that’s been growing. Some diseases people get to a point where they just want comfort and morphine and Hospice gives that option. A family friend who had a surprise cervical cancer that killed her went the hospice route. Best thing. Visited a few times. Much nicer than nursing homes or hospital care. Very pleasant for what it was for.

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Agreed. I mean it’s good the standard options are there. There’s baseline services. But I like the idea of enhanced services, especially if they extend into the period where the person’s still living, making death not necessarily something to look forward to but rather something that you know will be pretty epic. Oh where’s my Doctor Who reference on that one? Totally suitable – hang on…

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What’s a funeral anyway but a play? So, why not make it one they’d like?

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dang it, I’m feeling inspired. Stop that. I’m almost ready to look at the occupational outlook handbook for the USA, see the future job growth for funeral directors, find out schooling costs, timescales, local outlook, financing… dang it. It’d late and I’m too tired to be inspired.

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Oh it’s true. My favorite tradition was from when I was in the Orthodox Church for a few years. [I’m agnostic now but hold no grudges to any religious affiliations I’d had] – anyway, they had a “bury within 24 hours whenever possible” thing – all natural. I don’t know if it’s all of them that did it, or just the group I was in, but conceptually, I was a fan of it.

But at the same time, I don’t really have a problem with embalming and such, although I’ve been to a few funerals where they REALLY should’ve fired their makeup artists.

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But, what about territory? I always had the impression that funeral parlors were territorial like tattoo parlors.

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Ah ‘ here’s a better map. 93. That’s it. For all the thousands of spots, 93. That’s embarrassing. I had no idea.

and yeah, if it’s in the USA, there’s bullshit somewhere hiding behind stuff.

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http://www.us-funerals.com/funeral-articles/directory-of-green-burial-sites-in-the-united-states.html

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Well, they’re right. We buried a few dogs in the backyard here and the divit has to be filled in later on. First it rises to a hump (bloating), then thrwump, down it goes.

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Yeah it’s ridiculous. We had pigs here a few times. Law’s simple: it has to be 50 ft or more away from the well (we’re on well water). That’s it. 50 feet. Pig shit is far worse than decaying body.

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Yeah, it’s amazing the industry is getting away with it as long as they do. Plays off ppls fears. A lot of industries do though.

I’ve been running an animal removal service (family business) for 12 yrs. [not my 1st choice but I wanted to help support my brother with his family here and starting up a business he could do seemed like a nice thing to do, and running a business is simple. Paperwork, accounting, marketing (the biggest pain in the butt), and dealing with customers but that’s about it. Business is business no matter what it is. But I never did fear-based marketing. Ethically, I hate it.

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Best fear based marketing campaign in the history of fear based marketing campaigns? Sure antiperspirant.

“Raise your hands if you’re Sure”.

One company single-handedly controls millions of people’s arms. They WON’T raise their arms in public for fear that there might be a wet spot. Generations of people keeping their arms down. Food for thought.

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indeed. People will scare themselves anyway. You don’t need to help them. I could tell somebody EXACTLY how to do it themselves. I have. I don’t hold anything back. And you know what? My honesty and they’d STILL think I had a trick up my sleeve and would hire us. Of course we do: we’ve done it a bunch of times.

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One idea I had the other day for a side business: literal marketing. No hyperbole. We’d design marketing campaigns for companies that were completely honest and forthright. We wouldn’t just claim to do it. We actually would do it. It’d be an alternative to all the hyperbole that we can’t seem to escape. Somebody should be offering an alternative…

.. still rolling the idea over in my head. The style would be similar to pre 1920s marketing: (not the snake oiil ones!) – at the time, they were into reason. It was believed that the public were reasonable people and “just the facts” would be enough. All that changed in the 20s, and we’re still in that legacy 90 yrs later.

Might follow through with it, might not. Anyway – thanks for the discussion: I think you have a bright future in death!

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