I ask, “How might I be wrong and they be right” first.

It’s a good struggle though, although it’s sometimes annoying. I use my emotional responses as a cue. If I get an emotional response of discomfort, I ask myself what it is “in me” that’s causing the discomfort. I ask, “How might I be wrong and they be right” first.

[‘they” is the opposing opinion that causes the whole awkward situation – there doesn’t have to be any people involved; analogous to devil/angel arguing type of thing]

It’s facing the awkward beast head on that way: the imaginary situation that you are certain about something and then suddenly finding yourself standing there, bare and naked, fingers pointing and mocking, and angry faces coming excessively close and saying, “You are WRONG!” and the crowds chant, “wrong wrong wrong wrong”

Something like that.

Anyway, it’s helpful to face that first. Just takes a moment of mental visualization. Once I can reconcile where I *might* be wrong and the “they” be right, THEN I can argue more rationally with myself until I come up with a conclusion.

A faster way is asking myself, “What am I avoiding right now?” and listing all possibilities I’m avoiding to uncover my own prejudices. Just takes a few mental moments or if it’s a serious issue, stick it on paper or on the computer or whatever.

And actually, getting it “out of the head” is good. There’s not much room in the present moment consciousness, so it’s good to stick it into the past on a piece of paper so you can look at it in the future and clear up your mind for the present task of thinking.

and sometimes the conclusion turns out to be yet more awkwardness, but it’s an awkwardness I can handle a little better.

In the process, I try hard to avoid blaming others. The incongruency is in my mind and no one elses at that moment, so that’s where it has to be resolved, using tools like writing, talking, typing, whatever, to ‘get it out’ of the head when it’s more than the magical 7 item limit or so at a time.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


4 − one =

Leave a Reply