Sender: Orthodox Christianity <ORTHODOX@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU>
Poster: Kenneth Udut <kudut@MYSTICS.BUNGI.COM>
Subject: Husband and wife (plus Re: The Astronomer’s Calendar)
The biggest problems I see are two (not that I know anything):
1) The change was not a universal change. If it was agreed upon,
if the change was okay’d, taking into account all of the problems
it brings that would have to be solved, and all Orthodox followed it,
then sure – change the system.
But appealing to a ‘local customs’ idea seems odd in these times,
especially considering the ‘shrinking’ of the world. In fact,
more uniformity should be much easier now. Isolation seems to
be becoming a rarer and rarer thing.
2) Look at the original reasoning behind the change, not interpretations
that ‘make lemonade out of a lemon” so to speak.
If you agree with the original reasons behind the change, then certainly,
support it if you like.
But don’t agree because you can find rationalizations that fit you,
while not agreeing with the original intent.
Such a sudden change when it was decreed (relatively speaking – a
generation or two here or there). It would be equally easy to bring us
together so that we all are again celebrating on the same day.
I rather look at this, and other issues, as a husband and wife
relationship. The wife has issues, complaints, problems with
the changes in the husband’s behavior. But the husband’s
response is, “Bah – don’t worry about it – those are not important
issues – they are not issues at all”. Well, they may not be
significant and important to the husband, and he can trolly about
in his merry way, but obviously they are important issues to the wife.
Should the husband continue ignoring his wife, should it surprise
anyone (looking in from the outside at least) that she eventually
separates from him? Not a divorce, mind you, but moves out of the
house and lives elsewhere…
Meanwhile, the husband is now simply shaking his head in disgust
about his wife, telling all of his friends and family about
how she keeps going on and on about these innane things, being
a ‘nag’, and how he’s glad that she’s out of his life. Of course,
she’s *not* out of his life – he is just ignoring her now that they
are not living under the same roof. Then again, he was ignoring her
when they *were* living together. And he is acting as if they
are already divorced (but they are not).
But her influence does eventually have an impact. Subconsciously,
the things she talked about and nagged about, and eventually
separated from him about, are influencing his behavior, and he
actually starts making the changes she was nagging about for
all that time. [example: Thesloniki conference this year].
Of course, when somebody who knew them well (or one of his wife’s
friends) starts saying, “Ah ha – I see that she’s finally getting
you to do these things and improving yourself; you are starting moving
back to the level you once were at – it’s taken you a long time for
you to realize she was right, eh?”, he shakes his head in anger and
says, “No! This has nothing to do with her! I was thinking of
doing it anyway”. [example: the paragraph in the statement which
says, “This has nothing to do with schismatic Orthodox” – an odd
thing to say].
Meanwhile, the wife struggles to get them back together, but since
talking directly to him has had little impact, she starts improving
herself (so that she can be more of the woman she was when they
first got married), and does move on with her life. However,
not a moment passes by when she is not thinking about him, praying
for him, and says things to his friends, or in ways that find
their way to him so as to help him out.
She of course is not blameless – in an attempt to save face
among some of her family and friends, she often says things
about him which are unkind. Many of them are true – some of
them are blown out of proportion – but in the process of
saving face, of showing certain people just how fine she is
doing during the separation, she gives the unfortunate impression that
she hates him, or wants nothing to do with him. But this is far
from the case. Still, she sometimes gets full of herself and
puts up a front, and unless somebody knows her well, or who can
see through the facade she is putting up, (or doesn’t really
care *what* she says but likes to have juicy gossip and
thereby paints her in a picture as being this nasty, vindictive
woman who hates all man) – they do not see what lies behind,
and underneath all of this – and end up with an impression of
her that is that of the radical feminist (when in fact, all she
wants to do is to be back with her husband, but not as they were
when they broke up, but reconciled and understanding one another again –
back when times were good).
Now, will the husband and wife come back together?
This just came out of my fingers, and it’s an analogy (every line
of it means something, albeit whether I’ve conveyed what I’m
talking about successfully, is another tale yet to be told). Am
I off the mark, unclear, really saying x when I’m saying y?
Philip the Apostle asked him, “Do you understand what you are reading?”
The Ethiopian answered, “How can I unless someone guides me?”
Kenneth, who is the Ethiopian