How Kenneth Udut will serve his presidency.

I will truly be reluctant. I don’t like politics. They’d shred me to pieces, as I wouldn’t be able to play the game properly. But, if I was elected, I’d do my job, take lots of anti-anxiety medication (I’d need it!) and find a doppleganger to make the speeches for me so he gets shot instead of me. I’ll hide out for four years, making backroom deals that improve all of society and fix everything, writing my memoirs as I go along, publish a year after I leave office due to an engineered scandal that I can tolerate, and then make millions off of TV appearances for the rest of my life.

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