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Posted on June 14, 2012 by Kenneth Udut Leave a comment

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I’m in it for 5 minutes and I realize just how much I missed it. It’s been about 14 years since I’ve used it and I used to use this and other Desktop publishing tools a lot. Everything is behaving just as it should: I create a text box. I put the text in. Everything snaps to the right places, moves just how I expect. This new computer from China I got a few months ago came with Microsoft Office 2007 which despite a minor learning curve from Office 2K which is what I had on my last ancient Win7 laptop (the copy of Office I dragged with me from Schering-Plough from 2002 that I burned on a CD I think) is actually quite nice. I still have to search for how-to-do things in Excel (my main Office destination – I barely use the others) but through use it gets easier to find common tasks.
I had an opportunity to go to Juilliard as a child I didn’t want it and it turned out later my mother was just going along with what teachers and friends kept telling her. for six months i took special lessons to do the entrance I don’t remember anything in particular about the lessons but I kept getting these flashes of being instructed towards ever greater and greater perfection in the smallest and smallest things and I thought of the Olympics and first second and third place were functionally identical to each other but with uneven reward 1984. I was 12. The Olympics were amazing that year. after six months of lessons I asked if I had to go to Julliard. I knew what motivated me by then and what did not and would be broken if I had to be forced to be more perfect, to play in front of judges. I didn’t know if they would put signs up with scores: I almost wish they did but I feel like it would’ve been quiet writing with consequences decided in a secret room. I have no regrets not going, even if I was wrong. she listened to me. I didn’t have to go.later on I found out she wasn’t into it either but she was willing to do it if I wanted it my first piano teacher may have been that kind of sadistic but I was a good student. my sister who is as much of a student as me did not have the musical ability. two years my senior, one day the music teacher told her that she would never be as good as her brother. she cried in the car on the way home and my mother tried to console her because of her art talent. she felt better but said “but anybody can draw”, not fully realizing at the time her own gift. she never touched the piano after that maybe I didn’t want that experience in Julliard. that harpsichord teacher in the story is the level of evil that angers every fiber because when you’re in a position of power you need to be responsible with that power
The Master always comes back. Anybody claiming Missy was the last doesn’t understand how it works. 1st Master literally died. The actor. So they brought him back as a crispy critter, last regeneration, dead, no more. Found a way to cheat death. ALWAYS finds a way to cheat death.
Derrida’s “deconstruction”: Usually poorly understood apparently – but this is a nice summarization. (Deconstruction is linked to the historical philosophy of structuralism and is in response to it) “Mr. Derrida’s name is most closely associated with the often cited but rarely understood term “deconstruction.” Initially formulated to define a strategy for interpreting sophisticated written and visual works, deconstruction has entered everyday language. When responsibly understood, the implications of deconstruction are quite different from the misleading clichïs often used to describe a process of dismantling or taking things apart. The guiding insight of deconstruction is that every structure—be it literary, psychological, social, economic, political or religious—that organizes our experience is constituted and maintained through acts of exclusion. In the process of creating something, something else inevitably gets left out. These exclusive structures can become repressive—and that repression comes with consequences. In a manner reminiscent of Freud, Mr. Derrida insists that what is repressed does not disappear but always returns to unsettle every construction, no matter how secure it seems.” From “What Derrida Really Meant” by Mark C. Taylor, online.
So, we’re more individuated – and this is worldwide. Small nuclear families, the “kick the kids out of the house so they can get their own houses” as adults, communities tend to be unplanned and sporatic with politics at play instead of properly managed cities and neighborhoods… ..an “every man for himself / dog eat dog” attitude wherever you turn…

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