Forgiveness is a transaction of anticipations.What’s happening in
“I forgive you”?
It’s a highly compressed statement with multiple senses.
Financial context: “I forgive you” means “You no longer have to repay your debt to me”.
I am relieving you of your debt.
Socially: “I forgive you” is: I no longer have the desire or power to punish you.
That comes from royalty and court systems. The king provides pardon. The king forgives you. You will not be (further) punished.
In today’s context: “I forgive you” is viewed from the “forgivers” point of view whereas previously it was focused on “the forgiven one”.So, we talk about “forgiveness” as a psychological process of letting go of the emotional kernel in which the unpleasant feelings are held.
It’s akin to a muscle knot and relaxing that muscle so it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Forgiveness is akin to a Relaxation.
In physics, particularly NMR, spin can forget its orientation. That’s called a relaxation, a forgetting.
Forgiving is forgetting.
For humans, forgiving isn’t always forgetting, in that you can keep an “index” to remind you to “Watch out for this one in the FUTURE” – but you can forget the forgiven INCIDENT in the sense of removing / relieving / relaxing the tension / punishment / debt linked to it.
But full forgiveness is full forgetting, which can be dangerous for humans to do. Event specific forgiving however is ok, so long you maintain an index as a placeholder so you can guard against future transactions that might require forgiveness by not engaging in them in the first place.