*Effective Nagging*

I do

*Effective Nagging*

I don’t like nagging. I don’t like constant reminders, nor do I like giving them. This note is for parents and also for kids who want their parents to do something, but also husbands/wives, friends, bosses, teachers.. and I hope it helps somebody ’cause I’m proud how it turned out.

Here is why what you’re doing probably isn’t working and how to get people to do things if you must.

1) *What you want them to do is boring*.. The human brain detests boring things. It WANTS to see something that looks/sounds/smells/tastes/FEELS different.

Proof that the brain craves Novelty?

Want all of them in one place? *amusement park*

Your *chore* is the anti-amusement park.

*SCHOOL TAKE NOTE*: If you are an anti-amusement park school, your students aren’t going to remember that stuff and hate you for making them try to remember boring things.

(PS – the alternative to the ”amusement park” analogy for novelty?

There is *none*

The secret behind *meditation*?

The Amusement Park is inside of the deepest parts of your *mind*, *so deep* that everything is _absolutely fasctinating_ in a *completely relaxed* way.. It is an Amusement Park Experience that goes *beyond the emotional centers of the brain* and goes into the *quiet/peaceful/everything_is_ok* part of the brain that’s just, well, happy – like a *hug*. Yes, – an amusement park in the *hug part* of the brain. That’s meditation )

2) Wow Is there a number 2?

Oh yeah. Why not doing chores/tasks is mostly the commander’s fault.

Same reason as #1. It’s boring.. Find some way to make it interesting. If the chore itself (or school – take note schools! – and _workplaces for that matter_) – is dull, then you need to provide a:

*reminder system*


They don’t have to be *as fun* as amusement parks. But here are some easy ideas:

a) Reminder notes. Put them in places where *they are more bored* than then they’re engaging in a fun thing.

Going to the bathroom? Brushing teeth? *boring* Your note in the bathroom will be more interesting than going to the bathroom, and it will get read and possibly remembered.

Waterproof notes in the shower would be ideal, but outside of WAX CRAYON IN THE SHOWER WALLS, there’s not too many water-proof writing options.

b) 3D cues

Leave objects that reminds the person of the task that needs to be done.

Garbage? move the garbage into a novel spot. In front of the bathroom/livingroom/bedroom door for example.

It’s 3D. it’s not boring because its in an *unexpected place*.

c) More elaborate systems

The possibilities are endless for reminder systems.

They act as *”nags”* that are _not_ boring. Boring nags are ”I told you 100 times to do….” and yelling and screaming and having fits. They’re used to that and tune it out because… wel, it’s boring. Save the drama for your next acting class – unless you find they are more effective. Not my personal favorite method but that’s a preference on my part. If they work, they work, but see if quieter ways work too. It saves the both of you from headaches, bellyaches, backaches, frustrations and irritations.

Some good systems that are more involved:

i) Systems involving baskets at doorways with notes in them.

This is BOTH 3D _and_ written

*doorways* are a great place for reminders. Why? They are the end of one place and the beginning of another. A transition point. And transition points, for even the moment you pass through them, are points where you unconsciously stop and think for a moment if there is anything you forgot or if there’s anything that needs to be remembered.

iii) alternatives to *paper* – emails, text messages, KiK, IM, are a few alternatives to paper notes you can do. For a REALLY dramatic effect, try *video messages*.

The day you can pop up as a virtual character in the game to say, ”Billy, do your homework” will be a day parents will cheer and kids will curse, because video games are often their _only true freedom_ left from *authority figures* for them.

So don’t join their games to remind them of chores. That’ll just ruin the whole thing for them. Kid’s gotta have _some_ freedom.

iv) rewards / punishments aka – ”Cause/Effect”

You don’t always need ”If you do-don’t / then you’ll get-won’t get” systems to be put into place.

But if you do, make sure the reward fits the goodness and the punishment fits the non-compliance. Don’t go overboard or they’ll lose their effectiveness *really* quickly due to over-saturation.

The same way that yelling and screaming became oversaturated/overused and then limited in their effectiveness.

Overusing something is like *sandpaper*

Keep doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN and the surface becomes slick and smooth and your words just SLIDE right through their left ear and out of the right ear. Or visa-versa. There’s no place for that type of reminder to stick to anymore.

Kenneth Udut simplify3@gmail.com 07/21/2013 Copyright 2013. If you use this for non-profit, go ahead – I’d like credit though. But if you use this for money, please talk to me first. I’d like some of it too :)

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