In a Philosophy Forum, someone asked, “Why are we taught to ‘not speak ill of the dead’? It seems to be a strange custom.” So, I gave my answer. You can give yours smile emoticon
I believe in speaking kindly but honestly. The kindness is out of courtesy to the _living_ people around you and also because the _dead_ person *can’t defend themselves*.
The honesty is a personal preference, as I believe what was, was.
Yet since we cannot know everything about a person, who they were, what their intentions were at the time of our experiences with them, and since the dead cannot defend themselves in a verbal argument, it’s a little unfair to overly malign the dead.
So, I speak nicely, but honestly. Speak the good that’s good and the bad that’s bad, just no exaggerating in either direction is necessary.