DO I fish for compliments? Yup. Do I care if I don’t get them? Not really. I’m still awesome.

Yeah, fooling myself by fishing for compliments as an external validation for a sense of self worth? Done that, apparently. Didn’t realize I was doing it, even when people pointed it out to me. “Ah, fishing for compliments again, Ken?” I’d just look at them strangely. Didn’t make sense to me.

But I suppose they’re right. I can’t always see myself so perhaps that phrase is appropriate, at least from their point of view, so I accept that it might have some validity.

While I haven’t felt good about myself at every moment of my life; generally, I do. I found a tape of myself at 7 years old, playing and singing a song on the piano. [stuck it on soundcloud ’cause it’s simply ridiculous]

Anyway, after playing and singing “Tomorrow” from Annie in a squeaky voice, at the end I said to the invisible audience in the tape recorder,
“It was good, wasn’t it?”
“Yes it was! Yes it was, yes!” I finalized with an improvised sung/played chord.

And that sums me up. I like getting validation but if I don’t? I’m still ok. Validation is just a little icing.

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