Dirt keeps us from falling to the center of the earth due to gravity

Dirt keeps us from falling to the center of the earth due to gravity.  It would SUCK without dirt (literally): Imagine:
7 billion people all balled up together in the middle?  What a mess.
The vacuum cleaners are fine.  There’s a party in The Abyss right now.  It’s run by the Gender Fluidics With Male Leanings Society, Southeast.  They’re an awesome group – they throw the best parties.  BUT: the HEPA filters WILL SPAGHETTIFY YOU if you forget to use the Neutrinoficator first.  Just say no to HEPA.
Oh, and with regards to vacuums don’t even MENTION Dyson.  His Sphere has negative gravity and we all get stuck to the far inside of it like a bad carnival ride that spins and spins and never ends.  When that kid next to you throws up his lunch, it splats on your face.  Awful stuff.  He needs to work on his design more before that Star Trek movie comes out in a dozen or so years in the past.

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