Dealing with death, while we all experience it, is unique to each.

Expect feelings you don’t have names for.
Expect seeing yourself do things you’ve never done before.
Expect listening to yourself say things you never said before.

Expect thoughts you never thought before.
This is a singularity. You have nothing to compare it to.

Cope.

That is all you can do. And you can, through it all.

 

After the initial chaos settles down, and it _will_ – and you CAN get through it all, expect the next 12 months to be a unique experience. You can get through it. Whatever you feel at any given moment in the next 12 months, you are allowed to. You are allowed to feel something. You are allowed to feel nothing. You are allowed to hate. You are allowed to shut down. You are allowed to break things. You are allowed to cry. You don’t have to explain anything you say or anything you do to anybody for any reason whatsoever.

I never put words together before like that, but I’ve also never had you n my life before. I don’t know the road you’re on. It’s uniquely yours. I can empathize to a point, but where you are right now, what you’re thinking and feeling, is your road. I can only imagine chaos. I can only loosely compare to my own experiences. But as similar as they may seem, nobody on the planet is truly exactly where you are right now. But friends can try to find words, to express sympathy and empathy and understanding and give you permission in case you need it. It may be a penny in a deep well, but you have mine. My only advice is cope however you can. There’s no wrong way to do it, because nobody’s been you in this situation before except for you. I can only hope that you can cope and that you find the support you need, however and wherever you find it.

In honor of W.M Father.

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